Goodbye, Puerto Rican Dream

So I missed the Puerto Rican Day Parade. My boy said, “It’s too hot. I got work to do. Fuck all them people.” There goes my chance to meet Jenny Lo, serenade her and become her fourth husband. Shucks. Maybe I’ll see her on the 6.

Everyone is saying that I’m wildin’ out. I recently confided in people that I’m a bit of a prude; but, I’ve been thinking and I’m not sure if that’s really the case. Sure, there are some things that I’ll never do, but I believe the real problem is that I’m very self conscious. That’s what prevents me from enjoying myself as much as I can when I’m home or at school. I know that people have this image of me and while I may not try to uphold it for them, I do for myself. Michael drinking? Michael clubbing? Michael *gasp* smoking? When did I become Father Michael? The smoking I’ll stop because I’ve basically confirmed what I’ve known all along – smoking is disgusting. Yeah, no more blacks for Mike.

I know that come August, I’ll have so many responsibilities and it’s likely that I will be overwhelmed: This summer may be about advancing my career, but why not have a little fun in the process? So, I’m going to continue proposing to bartenders. Getting lost on Canal Street at 4 in the morning (Ok, maybe not). Spending too much money on drinks (Eh, I’ll go to the liquor store before to save money). And *gulp*, dancing…which I never do. Too bad I picked a city to do it where they don’t dance. That’s another blog entry, though.

Another problem is that being the big critic I am *insert halo*, I wonder how people look at me. I can solve that problem with two words: Fuck them.

“You can’t spend your life being in fear of all that may be.”

“Don’t let it get you down. It’s just life.”

So I’m learning.