Go Gay, Beat Hillary

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After John Kerry saw his ass handed to him by Dubya (Well, really Karl Rove and the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth) last November, Fox News’ most celebrated loud mouth, Bill O’Reilly wrote an op-ed in the Boston Globe that same week advising Hillary Clinton to get a June Cleaver makeover for her bid in ’08. O’Reilly claimed his intentions were to assist Hillary in her pursuit for the Presidency. I’ll stop here for a minute so I can finish laughing.

As laugh-out-loud funny as the notion of O’Reilly wanting to help any Democrat, much less Hillary Clinton is, an op-ed running that soon speaks volumes. It’s clear that they fear her. While some of my fellow liberal friends – still reeling about the idiot-in-chief’s decisive win – are no longer as enthused about Hillary’s chances, the people on the other side of the political spectrum no longer seem as confident in a Clinton TKO as they once were.

Enter a rehash of the Hillary lesbian rumors from the 90s, thanks in part to Edward Klein and his new lieography, The Truth About Hillary: What She Knew, When She Knew It, and How Far She’ll Go to Become President. I think a more fitting title would be: A Hack Journalist w/ An Axe to Grind Attempts To Tarnish the Image of Hillary Clinton Now That The Country Has Warmed To Her.

Slate reports that Klein’s book includes details on Hillary’s “fascination” with lesbianism. It’s no secret (or at least is shouldn’t be) that society still isn’t overwhelmingly tolerate of people who behave differently than what is considered the norm. Already Hillary has many things going against her: She is strong woman living in a country that will quickly try to put a woman back in her place the second she makes men feel uncomfortable. (No matter how much people argue otherwise, there are many men in awe of Fred Flintstone and Captain Caveman still around.) Many women were vexed at her for not leaving her husband after his much publicized infidelities, most notably with Gap girl Monica Lewinsky. And she is arguably only second to President Bush in term’s of our country’s most polarizing figures.

But despite all of this, she is still a very popular member of her party, and has made great inroads with many Americans who wrote her off during her husband’s first administration. She’s always been a centrist, but now more than ever is she making that clear to voters. She raises excessive amounts of money. She’s incredibly intelligent and knows how to win. Being the smart woman that she is, I’m quite sure she knows the current batch of Republicans eyeing a run are beatable.

Bill Frist has yet to prove himself and is a virtual unknown. McCain is popular with the overall public, but loathed by the conservative members of his party. Guiliani has to contend with the fallout of the Kerik scandal, in addition to being viewed as too liberal for his pro-choice and pro gay rights stances. The other, more evil Bush, Jeb, seems to be holding out for a future run in the coming years. Dick “Don’t Call Me Darth Vader” Cheney has made it clear that he will not run….though the chances of him winning were as likely as one catching a chill in the seventh circle of hell anyway. Any other possible candidate isn’t worth mentioning at the moment. Clearly Republicans have a reason to be worried.

Republicans are doing nothing but exploiting the homophobia that pervades our society. Enter scum like Klein to assist their efforts. They can’t peg her as a wild and crazy liberal anymore, as her voting record speaks for itself. No way of calling her a troublemaker or a divider in the Senate, because she works alongside Democrats and Republicans alike to get things done. It’s unlikely they’ll find anyone to defeat her in next year’s Senate race, with her approval ratings soaring. So what’s the opposition to do? If you guessed follow in the tradition of avoiding the actual issues at hand to engage in a little good old fashioned mud-slinging, I have a cookie for you.

It’s pathetic. It’s childish. It’s down right wrong. It’s so…..Republican. To attempt to destroy a woman’s career by implying that she is a lesbian should be an example to all of just how low some right wingers will stoop to hold on to power. The many idiots out there who would allow Hillary’s sexual orientation to be the determining factor in how they choose to vote is a sign of just how far we have left to go.

While I’m pretty sure Hillary will indeed run, I cannot wait for the day she officially announces it. Even better will be the day she’s sworn into office. I personally want to see every conservative writer/commentator’s face crack.

Time to order myself a shirt and a couple of buttons.

For the poor saps hoping Obama will run in 2008, allow me to enlighten you: There’s no way a black man is getting elected President before a white woman. Besides, he’s only in his first term. Be patient. Go Hillary.

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