Beyonce’s Ideal Wedding Gift: A Book

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If you know me, you know I love Beyonce. She’s from Houston. She’s fly. She’s from Houston. She’s fine. She’s from Houston. The chick is bad — tacky and showing her net wigs when her mama trashes/styles her — but bad all the same. It pains me (not really) to say this, but after reading this excerpt from the latest Vanity Fair in which she appears on the cover of their hip hop issue [insert comment here]

Having Jay in her life has changed a few of her attitudes about how men and women relate to one another too, she said, which helped her transition from writing songs like “Independent Women” and “Survivor” to man-tending anthems such as “Cater 2 U,” in which she sings about bringing him slippers and drawing his bath.

“I grew up,” BeyoncĂ© says. “I feel it’s still very strong, because in order to be a strong woman, you have to have a strong man. There’s nothing wrong with women doing that for their man if their man deserves it and he does the same for you.”

….I have to call a spade a spade. She’s a beautiful woman. Extremely talented and hardworking. But y’know, sometimes the chick just shouldn’t be allowed to speak. I always brushed off suggestions that she need not talk; that she just sit there and look pretty. However, after stating in order for a woman to be strong, she has to have a man, I can’t help but suggest that her publicist, Yvette, scoop this item up for her this Christmas:

What a wonderful lesson to teach young women: Be self-sufficient only when you’re single. Moron. This pains me far more than it ever could Beyonce. She better thank the God she p-pops for night after night made her that pretty. Let any other high-profile celebrity make a comment like that and their career will look like an Acela train wreck. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and stare at her doing the “Uh Oh” dance and think of better times.

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