Don’t Be Fooled By Her Films That Flopped, Jenny Still Has Those Acting Chops

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“If you give me one, I promise to quit singing.”

Now that she’s bagged another husband, sold a shitload of perfume, and fully stocked your local Marshalls and TJ Maxx, it seems like Jenny Lo has set her sights on obtaining the ultimate prize bestowed to the actors. Yes, the Bronx bombshell wants to be respected for her craft (or favorite part-time job, take your pick) and is itching to get an Oscar. Such a shame her agent doesn’t have that same respect for the roles he gets her. Then again, why blame him when we all know the truth: Jennifer can’t act. As much as I love to oogle Jenny, I’m almost certain Oscar is the one man she’ll never have.

Have you all seen An Unfinished Life? Probably not. A more appropriate title would have been An Unfinished Plot. The film grossed $30, $10 of which were mine that I want back. I’ve never had to pay for a nap and I don’t want to make a habit of it now. If you can’t get a film featuring Robert Redford and Morgan Freeman to garner you a little buzz then there is no hope for you.

I actually feel a little bad for J.Lo. Her last album, Rebirth, arrived in stores DOA. Her last string of movies, sans Monster-In-Law have flipped flopped from cineplex to cineplex. On top of all of that, she’s married to Marc Anthony, who looks like the lovechild of death and Skeletor.

Get a new agent, get a new publicist, and get a new divorce. You can do better. Remember when you lipped,” Biiiiiidddy biddddy bum bum” and actually entertained us? C’mon, you can do it again.

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