Reason 701 Robertson Is A Loon

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If I squint hard enough, maybe more people will take me seriously

Two weeks removed from Christmas, one of the most important holidays of the Christian faith, televangelist and village idiot, Pat Robertson, appeared on the sheep-friendly program, “The 700 Club,” to speak on Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s massive stroke. Ever the bastion of sensitivity, good ole Project Pat implied that God was seeking revenge against Sharon for ordering the withdrawal from the Gaza strip.

According to Robertson, “God says, this land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.”

According to me, this man is an idiot. Perhaps even the type of idiot that deserves a swift kick to the neck. Maybe then he’ll feel even a small inkling of the pain and suffering currently being endured by Sharon.

Robertson would further add the Bible “makes it very clear that God has enmity against those who ‘divide my land.’’’ Sharon, as Robertson sees it, “was dividing God’s land, and I would say woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course.”

Woe unto the broadcasters who give him the airtime to make such brainless comments.

After the White House and Senator Harry Reid both denounce Robertson’s comments, his spokesperson replied that Robertson was merely saying “what the word of God says.”

It’s been a while since I’ve been to Bible study, but someone please tell me there’s something in there about morons being smacked on the forehead for misquoting scripture. All I remember is something about false prophets ending up in a very bad place in the afterlife. Perish the thought for Robertson.

What would Jesus do? I’m guessing not writing off someone breathing through a respirator after undergoing 13 hours of surgery to stop the bleeding in their heads as simply “he had it coming.”

Someone slap Robertson with the entire book of Psalms, please.

When he’s not using God’s name in vain, he’s making plans to create a religious theme park or “heritage center” in Israel. Upon completion, let’s hope no one ever attacks such a venue with the excuse, “The devil made me do it.”

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