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Eva Longoria: “This is as black as it gets for me.”

So what the week’s just begun. It’s never too early to point out stupidity.

The idiot of the week is a tie, actually: Eva Longoria and her racist grandmother.

Longoria tells Allure magazine that she was planning to send her grandmother a San Antonio Spurs calendar so she could see what her boyfriend looked like, but her mother reminded her that not everyone approves of the fact she’s dating a biracial man. — BlogNYC

Biracial man? Her mistake. She meant a black man. Eva’s response?

Longoria recalls, “She said, ‘You can’t give grandma a calendar. She doesn’t know Tony’s black.’ I said, ‘We’ll just tell her he’s French.'”

Hmm, where do I begin? Hailing from Texas, I’m no stranger to racist Hispanics. I always found the irony in this, as it should be common knowledge (though it sadly isn’t) that “Hispanic” nor “Latino” (I realize the difference) are races. It’s a culture (with much of it having African origins, but I digress). Cameron Diaz and Sammy Sosa are both Latino – but what are their races? I’ve met many a Latino, often times a Latino darker than I am, make it clear that didn’t like me, El Negro. My usual response? The same racist white people that hate my ass don’t like you either. That or “You’re black too, el stupido.” How much dumber does it get than minorities hating other minorities?

Now on to Eva. “We’ll just tell her he’s French.” French? There are black people in France, too, ditz. She’s using humor to minimize the severity of the situation. I’m sure she loves her grandmother and realizes that she’s old and set in her ways. My Grandmother is a colorist, so I can relate. I look at her at times and think to myself, “I hope you stand outside in the sun too long and get a mean tan.” But, if I fall in love with someone with a melanin count not to her liking, do you think I’m going to say, “Oh, I’ll buy some bleaching cream and make Grandma happy?”

Hell to the nawl. If you love me, you’ll love who I’m with…or you’ll at least get over yourself for me and bite your tongue. And if I’m not mistaken, Eva once said that she used to be called “prieta fea,” or dark ugly one because of her “dark” features. You would think she’d shove it in their faces that she’s with someone with a $90 million dollar contract, black or whatever. Apparently not.

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“Teedra Moses. Got damn. Teedra Muthafucking Moses. If y’all don’t know about her, y’all need to find a picture, get up on the internet.” — Little Brother

I’m throwing on my groupie hat for this entry. If you aren’t familiar with Teedra Moses, you damn sure need to be. She’s written a couple of songs, particularly Christina Milian’s one and likely only hit, “Dip It Low.” She’s been featured on Raphael Saadiq’s second solo album, As Ray Ray, and nearly two years ago released her debut album, Complex Simplicity.

She’s on TVT, so she didn’t exactly have the typical major push for a new artist. From what I’ve read, she’s only sold about 70k domestically. She has a bit of a growing fanbase in the U.K., where they tend to be more receptive to R&B artists that recall the sounds of R&B from yesterdecade. She has such a melodic voice, and she’s a really strong songwriter. I have listened to her debut regularly since its release.

She is currently recording her second album, The Young Lioness, and below is a link to her myspace page, where she’s uploaded clips of from the album as well audio of live performances. It’s under “Exclusive.” I don’t know much about the album, other than her working with 9th Wonder. I love 9th Wonder’s production, particularly now with R&B artists (see Destiny’s Child’s Destiny Fulfilled).

If you have never heard of her, give her a listen. I started writing for our student paper around the time she released her first album. One of my first album reviews was for Complex Simplicity, and she was the first artist I interviewed (thanks, Lizzie). As you can tell probably tell from the clips, I’ve come a long way. I’m hoping this time around, she gets the attention she deserves. Love her, dammit.

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“I’m not as dumb as I look, y’all.”

According to MTV, Jessica Simpson has a lot more sense than people give her credit for – reason being that even she realizes Dumbya is like the kid in school you dread being around because you’ll become lame by association. No one wants to be around that kid. Especially when you’re in the midst of a highly-publicized divorce and you’re hoping you don’t come out looking like the villain (that’s not the word I’m really thinking of, though).

Simpson has turned down an invitation to meet the President at a Republican-fundraiser out of concerns that she didn’t want to politicize her favorite charity, Operation Smile. Operation Smile provides free plastic surgery to disabled children with facial deformities. Smile is a non-partisan group and Simpson would like to keep it that way.

Doesn’t hurt that the President is currently greeting the lowest approval ratings of his adminstration. I’m sure even Simpson realizes she would get a roll of pennies chucked at her head just for standing next to the guy.

How did the Republicans respond? National Republican Congressional Commitee spokesperson Carl Forti said, “It’s never been a problem for Bono.” I can just imagine Forti saying that with the same empty expression as Simpson. I remember when Jessica Simpson debuted. She didn’t strike me as a complete idiot then. It always seemed to be she was playing the stereotypical “dumb blond” role to get ahead. Decisions like this add more credence to my theory, because at this point, only an idiot would stand next to George Bush and have the nerve to ask people for money.

In other news…

Kevin Powell is running for office. Someone at Southern University told me two years ago that he shared with the audience that he was contemplating a Congressional run. Powell will be running in Brooklyn’s 10th Congressional District. The last news I heard about him was that he got into a fight with a staff writer at Stuff magazine over a girl — biting the man’s ankle in retaliation. Good to know he’s doing better.

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You would think that after 9/11 and the number of international terrorist attacks that have since followed that people stateside would be reluctant to do anything to piss off the head of a terrorist network. Then you read news like this:

Wafah Dufour bin Ladin, niece of Usama, wants to be a reality-TV star and has inked a deal with powerhouse publisher/TV producer Judith Regan for a show.

Yes, that’s the spirit. Let’s rile him up even more by showing his niece – whom I’m almost certain he considers an infidel for her sexually risque pics in magazines like GQ and pop star aspirations – on national television doing everything he despises and uses to justify his plots to blow us up.

“It’s the story of Wafah trying to make it as a singer and the many cultures she comes from,” Regan said yesterday.

Cute. I can see Osama making a few calls right now.

Regan, who executive-produced A&E’s “Growing Up Gotti,” draws parallels between Wafah and Victoria Gotti, both of whom share infamous last names.

How do you think Osama is going to react to the idea of his niece being likened to the daughter of a mafia king pin?

“It’s just showing that someone from these different cultures has the same aspirations, fears and insecurities that any 20-something would have.”

Isn’t that special?

“She was educated in Switzerland and is on her own in New York,” Regan said. “It’s not a terribly original story, but she has a lot of allure, sex appeal and personality.

Allure, sex appeal, and personality? I’m going bunker shopping the second I’m done with this entry.

“Here’s the thing: [Wafah] is related to [Usama], but she is not him,” Regan said. “Just because she carries the name doesn’t mean she’s in any way representative of what he’s about.”

Which is probably why he hates her and will hate Americans even more (if that’s possible) for allowing the world to see that.

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The album must be a-coming, because she’s slimming down at a very rapid pace. A part of me stops to think about how all of her constant fluctuations in size cannot be good for her overall health, but screw that for a second – Janet is looking good again! She’ll be able to do the butterfly without her thighs rubbing together causing her to trip and collaspe to the floor in no time. Hooray! I’ve loved Janet since I was a kid and I’m glad she’s no longer channeling her inner Klump. I’m just hoping the music matches up with the great figure that’s on the horizen.

Honestly, I didn’t think Damita Jo was that bad. It was basically an improved version of the previous album, All For You. I thought “I Want You” was one of her best tracks in years. Vocally she was strong, Kanye gave her a hot beat/sample, and I thought it had hit written all over it…even if it were only a modest one. Too bad she let that clown who took Brandy’s “I Wanna Be Down” far too seriously defile her in front of a billion people, pissing off a cool couple of million of them in the process. But that’s all in the past now (sort of). People can bounce back (Whut it dew, Mimi?). I’m hoping Jermaine’s winning streak continues with her.

I’m not really feeling that album title, 20 Years Old, but I don’t mind an ode to Control too much. Keep on jogging, Damita. We’re waiting for you.

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Never underestimate the stupidity of the average American.

The day after the re-election of the idiot-in-chief I sat around trying to fathom how 59,054,087 people could be dumb enough to vote this sophomoric idiot for a second term. I still don’t get it. The country was already headed for a downward spiral after his first four years in office, and now we’ve been catapulted into an even deeper black hole. This is what happens when you allow an evil genius to play off the fears of a religious and far too easy to mislead population. Karl Rove and co. painted John Kerry has a coward when he is everything but. Groups like the Christian Coalition mailed off millions of “voter information packets,” i.e. propaganda wrapped up in a lovely little package, to their members who were too lazy or too stupid to learn about the candidates and the issues themselves. And the coup de grate – capitializing off the homophobia pervading society. Yes, yokel and colored folks: Bush my leave you in destitution, but doggonit, he’s going to save you from the eye-gauging sight of two homos getting hitched. This all took place while Kerry willingly allowed himself to be depicted as an indecisive punk ass bitch. Imbecilic Americans bought all of this hook, line, and sinker.

Now, nearly a year and a half after being re-elected, it seems like all the morons who voted for this clown are catching on. In a new AP poll, Dumbya’s job approval rating has fallen to an all time low of 34 %. That’s still 34% too much, but hey, at least most people are learning. What caused his approval rating to dip eight points from the previous month? Need it be anymore obvious? The economy. Katrina. Iraq. The Dubai port deal. His stupidity becoming all the more obvious (and after this many years of being a public figure, this is quite the feat).

Even some conservatives are fed up, going as far to say they’d choose Slick Willie over the Connecticut Cowboy.

As elated as I am to read that people are finally seeing the light, I quickly remind myself that I’m stuck with this moron until January 20, 2008. So that means our dollar will continue on with its mission to rival the peso as the most worthless currency on the planet. We will continue to see his new choices for the Supreme Court do away with what the founders of this country called our rights. And we’ll all bask in the joy of going to war with another country we needn’t battle (Hi, Iran). For all of the idiots that voted for him, you made your bed – lie in it and suffer with the rest of us that have a clue.

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