Try Celebrating A Tuesday, Damita

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So by the time I realized the Mike story was a hoax, I didn’t feel like deleting the entry. Why? Hey, I’ve been holding off that material out of respect for the Kang of Pop for some time. I just knew he’d give me an opportunity to talk noise, though. Too bad it ended up being a joke on us.

Sadly, I have to talk about another Jackson now. My beloved Janet. My fourth grade girlfriend. The woman I’ve loved since I was kid mumbling “Controooooool.” What spawned this? Have you been over to her website to listen to her “gift?” The site has loads of pics celebrating her twenty year career. For about ten days now she’s had a counter on the site counting down to her “surprise.” The surprise is some wack ass song called “Weekend.”

“Weekend” makes me yearn for Monday mornings. I don’t think it’s any indication of her new album, but it’s one hell of a way to kill the buzz for it. The song samples Debbie Debb (Yep someone had to fill me in on who that is…and I’m still not entirely sure) and recalls the same b-boy era of hip hop sound (Too young for that, too) as the really annoying LL Cool J and J.Lo track, “Lose Control,” which samples Afrika Bambattaa.

I can tolerate “Lose Control” when compared to “Weekend.” The latter just sounds like really bad 80s music. Janet, I hate to say it, but perhaps it’s time you give Renee a call. If it’s too hard for you, I’ll dial for you.

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