Sony To Kelly Rowland: You Gots To Go (Back To The Studio)

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Kelly: (Tears) I could never be as good as you.
Beyonce: (Tears) No way in hell. You’re not even good enough to dip my Popeyes biscuit in honey. Sucks to be you, number two.

About a month or so ago, promosquad leaked a couple of tracks from Kelly Rowland’s sophomore effort, titled My Story. Her story seems to be more horror than fairytale. Just about every track with the exception of one made me envy the deaf. “What It Do” was a “What It Don’t” and almost warranted Kelly to receive an official ban from the city of Houston. “Ghetto” made you want to move to the suburbs. “Still In Love With My X” gave you the idea to delete numbers from your SIM card. And I can’t forget the very dated “Gots To Go,” which features two female rappers (I probably already lost you with female rappers) that haven’t had hits in years – (St)Eve and Da Brat. Da Brat kicks off the song with saying “Welcome to the beautiful world of Miss Kelly Rowland.” It’s a small world after all.

“Gots To Go” was intended to be Kelly’s first single. If you scroll down, you’ll find a link to Kelly’s performance of the track at the MTV Asia Awards. Click at your own risk. The performance wasn’t that horrible. It just wasn’t that good either. Maybe it’s the Ike Turner/Lauryn Hill wig that keeps throwing me off.

I don’t want to be completely negative. She did have one good song in “The Show,” featuring Tank. So there you have it: one small gem in a sea of pointy rocks you dare not touch.

Now after bad reviews from fans and critics alike comes word that Kelly’s album has been officially pushed back until 2007.

“We want to make sure our marketing strategy is a multi-tiered approach that capitalizes on the synergies afforded by her other projects,” [Mathew] Knowles tells Billboard.

That’s a cute way of saying we need to find another gimmick for this chick.

Asked if more songs will now be recorded for the pushed-back set, Knowles says, “If she finds a better song or songs to add, we’ll use them. But that’s not the reason for changing the date. [Everyone] is pleased with the record Kelly made.”

These people sure do know how to lie, don’t they? No wonder they get sued so much. With My Story Star Jones is more likely to be chosen as a Playboy Playmate than that album has a chance of going platinum. On second thought, make that Al Reynolds. Not to mention she was about to be bitch slapped down the charts by her former bandmate, LeToya Luckett.

People all the time cry that the Knowles cult doesn’t really care about Kelly. That it’s all about Beyonce and that Kelly will never achieve her full potential if she sticks with that camp. Well…yeah maybe so. But you have got to give it them this time. They threw her a bone. So best of luck to you, Kelly. You’re going to need it. Right now LeToya is in a much better position to take the “Destiny’s Child member not named Beyonce we care somewhat about” crown.

Speaking of Beyonce, news has surfaced that we’ll be treated to a new Beyonce album in September. I’m sure it will get pushed back a couple hundred times, but no matter. Bouncy is coming back!

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