Why Did Their Mamas Do That To Them?

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Yesterday I attended my cousin’s high school graduation. Out of the twelve kids who walked across the stage, eleven of them had some of the most “creative” names I’ve come across in a very long time. These negroes (and one hispanic) might as well spray their resumes w/ hot sauce and Lawry’s seasoned salt and just scare the human resources people away. Here’s a look at some of the names:

Frozina (sounds like something Minute Maid sells)
LaPorschia Na’Quita
LaRocha Jenna
Tyronza LaShon
Shantia
LaToydra Valienta
Zeandreia A’Nuel
Aunanesha Chanta
Shaheedah
Jeretta Rashae
Clavelita
Desnick
Sharnequa Danae
LaNecia Veronique
Cristal
K’Ora
Treykia Quinchelle
Kokesia Kiqwane
Sheneka
Conchetta
Macario
Cre’shone
Marquiesha Ja’Nae
Keiva
Lu’Shundra
Shamarion
Rechristal
CaNotstria Anvon
Jacorolynstans Onassis

I’m particularly mad at the last name. I sat there and waited for them to announce her name just so I could learn how in the hell you pronounce it. She (I’m assuming, but you never know anymore) didn’t show. If anyone can loan me $500 to figure out which vowel I need to buy to pronounce her name, it’d be greatly appreciated.

No wonder the sign language people sat down the entire graduation. After those names, they probably just said, “Fuck it.”

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