Beyonce Wants You To Give Her Stripper Bit More Respect

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Doesn’t this scream artistry?

Beyonce, creative force behind such empowering female anthems like “Bootylicious” and the inspirational, self-esteem promoting mid-tempo, “Happy Face,” feels that people just aren’t giving her enough credit as an artist.

“It’s frustrating, because sometimes, when you are attractive, people don’t acknowledge that you are talented as well.””I mean, I’m a songwriter, I’m a producer, I have a strong voice, I’m a dynamic performer. Sometimes people forget that.”

Pretty people have it so hard. Believe me, I know. And honestly, sometimes, particularly for women, the public would prefer to pay more attention to their aesthetic beauty in favor of everything else. But, y’know, I’m not buying that in this instance. Beyonce, I looooove you, but if there were a “N**** please” stick, you for damn sure would need your ass smacked upside the head with it right about now.

“I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining, I put on my happy face.”

“Dip it. Pop it. Twirk it. Stop it. Check on me tonight.”

“We like them boys up top from the BK…know how to flip that money three ways.”

Baby, you aren’t Lauryn Hill. Hell, you’re not even Mary J. Blige high with this material. You’re the first black female to win the ASCAP songwriting award and you won it for “Bootylicious” and “Independent Women Part I” where you ask folks over and over again to throw their hands up at you. Do you realllllllly want to go there?

As far as producing, you, like Missy, need to shut up. You do fantastic vocal producation and arrangements, but you’re not composing music.

You are in fact a dynamic performer, but I saw you last week: You were trippin’ with that Tina Turner meets cheerleader meets Pentacoastal service routine. You looked a lot like me after I got my ass beat for stealing chocolate from Foodarama on that floor.

And lastly, maybe people pay more attention to your beauty because you’re poppin your pussy on stage all the time. I love the way you work that imaginary pole, but you’ve proven you can work the stage without such antics – you do it to yourself.

Again, I loooooove you, but promise me one thing: You will never, never, ever ever ever ever ever do another interview like this without your publicist being on her job. I want to kick Yvette myself for letting this go down.

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