Have It [Death] Your Way

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More lethal than any pistol.

Burger King has unveiled a new line of jumbo high-rise burgers called the BK stacker sandwiches. Each sandwich is stacked with layers of “meat,” cheese, and bacon that’s topped off with stacker sauce. What is stacker sauce? Don’t know. Don’t want to know. I’m still trying to figure out what ingredients McDonalds allows to spoil to make their Big Mac sauce.

And being the kind chain that they are, Burger King gives you the option of selecting how many beef patties to place in your sandwich.

Double Stacker – 2 beef patties, 2 slices of cheese, and 2 pieces of bacon for about $2.49.

Triple Stacker – 3 patties, 3 pieces of cheese, and 4 pieces of bacon for $3.29

Quad Stacker – 4 meat patties, 4 slices of cheese, and 8 slices of bacon for $3.99.

Do you want a triple, quadruple, or quintuple bypass in ten to twenty years? Choose wisely.

And just for future reference:

The average cost for gastric bypass, which creates a much smaller stomach and rearranges the small intestine, is $26,000.


Total average cost of MIDCAB (minimal bypass) surgery was $12,885 compared with $21,260 (full bypass) in the CABG group,” Dr. Zenati said. “We observed significant savings for all major cost centers in the MIDCAB group except for pharmacy.”

Those were the prices in 1997, so kick in another $6-8k. And this doesn’t include the cost of the additional medication you’ll have to take for the rest of your life.

I’m just saying.

If you’re wondering, no, I am not a judgmental health freak. Up until a couple of months ago, I thought drinking orange juice counted as daily fruit intake, so I’ll probably die six months after you. But, the reason why I’ll last those extra months is I know painful chest pains and a belly drooped to the floor when I see it.

With that being said, happy eating. 🙂

Disclaimer: If you work for Burger King or McDonalds, don’t worry. If you ever want to sponsor what I hope is my wonderful show one day, I’ll sell out for a Chicken Whooper or an Oreo McFlurry. I’m no fool.

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