No Cents

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Fa sho.

The story is taken from Contact Music, so it should be taken with a grain of salt. Then again, this is 50 Cent we’re talking about – a man known for making idiotic comments all the time. This week the multi-platinum irritator is making news for likening himself to George W. Bush. 50 referred to Bush as his homeboy and said, “You wanna know something? I actually like Bush. In some ways, I’m the George W. Bush of hip hop – nobody likes me, but I’m still gonna run it for the next four years.”

Yes, 50, you are indeed a lot like our President. Like Bush, you ran a campaign of fear to get ahead. Bush toyed with American fears of terrorism, homos, and the role that government plays in their lives. You played off longstanding fears that black men are to be feared – selling white suburbia material filled subject matter depicting violence. How entertaining and profitable the big black brute theory still is. Isn’t that right, 50?

And like our commander-in-chief, you’ve enjoyed quite the decline in popularity. Your first album sold upwards of eight million. Your second offering sold half of that. Bush is only in office because people are too afraid to challenge him with impeachment charges even though they’re justifiable. With declining sells for you and everyone on your roster, you don’t seem to be afforded that same luxury.

Also like George Bush, your ridiculed the person that came before you only to see yourself behaving exactly like them. Bush faulted Clinton for lying; you roasted Ja Rule for being an emcee who crooned all over his tracks. Bush ultimately was caught lying about far worse than extra attention from an eager intern, and you’ve been channeling Nate Dogg on many of your biggest hits. Hypocrites are unpopular for a reason.

Although 50 views himself in the same light as President Bush, he doesn’t want anything close to his level of responsibility (or irresponsibility, take your pick). “I don’t need that kind of pressure. All I need is a sequel to my video game and a new hit single.”

That’s pretty much on par with Bush’s yearning for another attention-diverting news story and another foiled terrorist plot.

Since he likes our President so much, I’ll be sure to tell him the same thing I’ll be yelling at the scream come January 20, 2009: Good riddance.

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