I Put A Spell On You

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In today’s zealot news, a few University of Texas at Arlington workers are finding themselves sanctified and unemployed today after praying over a fellow employees cubicle and anointing it with olive oil.

Evelyne M. Shatkin, an administrative assistant, and Linda Shifflett, a development funds assistant, claim in a wrongful termination lawsuit filed Tuesday in federal court in Fort Worth that their termination constitutes religious discrimination.

The university released a statement saying its decision had been upheld by the Texas Workforce Commission and the Texas Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

“UT Arlington respects our employee’s rights to their religious beliefs and does not discriminate on the basis of religion,” the statement said. “We cannot comment on personnel matters or cases in litigation. However, the accusations presented in this lawsuit are a gross distortion of the truth.”

That translates into these nutjobs can pray all they want, so long as our other employees don’t live with the fear that a hex has been placed on them.

The suit claims that a male worker was having problems with another employee and shared the information with Shifflett. Shifflett, Shatkin and the man stayed after work on March 3 to pray for the woman, who was on vacation. The three met at the woman’s cubicle about 5:30 p.m., believing no one else was there. Shatkin prayed for the situation, and according to her religious tradition, dabbed olive oil on the door frame of the cubicle. The oil left no mark and did not damage the cubicle, according to the suit.

Now, if they didn’t think they were doing anything wrong, why would they wait until the office cleared to spread olive oil across this person’s cubicle as if it were French bread?

“More specifically, praying, shouting and/or chanting over a co-workers personal and professional belongings without her knowledge and consent constitutes harassment of a fellow co-worker,” she wrote. “In addition, rubbing this co-worker’s cubicle with oil is blatant disregard for university property, both of which are identified as behavior that is grounds for dismissal…”

I would hate to find out what happens if you knock over a bottle of ketchup.

No word on what the person with the root placed on them thinks. You have got to be one mean ass to have people go and hold a seance over your cubicle.

News of this has inspired me to say a prayer over my blog.

Dear God,

This may not be right.
This may not be cool.
But thanks for keeping me in school so I’ll never have to work with such fools.

1 luv!

Your favorite cynic.

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