Yeah, B, Talk Your Sh*t!

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Beyonce, in many ways, is a lot like our dear commander-and-thief, George Bush: Each means well, but rarely if ever do they properly articulate their thoughts – instantly leading anyone paying attention to think they haven’t a clue as to what they’re talking about.

A good example of this is when Miss Independent Woman herself told Vanity Fair that in order to be a strong woman you must have a strong man. Another is when she claimed her religion would never allow her to succumb to antics done by the likes of Britney and Madonna at the VMAs, which put her on the bad side of a large faction of her fanbase. She quickly rebounded, though, when she let a room full of gay men check on it at popular gay club in New York. Praise him.

And here we are, years removed from both, and she’s back at it. This time her asinine comments concern her wealth. In an interview with Pride magazine, Beyonce says she’s a bit embarrassed by the wealth she’s accumulated throughout her constant I’m-in-your-face-and-you-will-love-me-dammit career.

“I just wanted to be financially stable and it embarrasses me, and I don’t feel comfortable talking or thinking about it.”

What’s wrong with that? Nothing, actually. I find it to be a very humble way of acknowledging her very much deserved achievements? So what am I complaining about this time?

Beyonce added: “I’m not a flashy girl, and I don’t flaunt it.”

Really now?

Audemars Piguet watch
Dimples in ya necktie
Hermes briefcase
Cartier top clips
Silk lined blazers
Diamond creamed facials
VVS cuff links
6 star pent suites

*starts dancing*

Patna let me upgrade ya grade ya
Patna patna let me upgrade ya grade ya

Wait, this is Beyonce. I can’t fault her too much, right? I mean she’s so…pretty. Now that I think about it, she’s not really twirkin’ in the trunk of the Bentley like she’s showing off. She just wanted to us to see how spacious it is! And she probably only wore the fur because it was so cold on the set. Not to mention those headlights are so bright, so I bet she needed those shades. Plus the song is called “Upgrade U,” not “Save Your Credit.”

Are you judging me right me? Well, you shouldn’t! If the neocons can do it with Bush, why can’t I do it with Beyonce?

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