The Victim

Coke-abusing, Valtrex-using, media whoring, regular whoring, racial epithet spewing, homophobic slur hurling spoiled rancid tramp bitch Paris Hilton thinks she’s been treated unfairly.

And Jesus wept.

Fresh off of getting her just due, the pseudo actress and singer and complete waste of space told paparazzi standing outside of her home: “I feel that I was treated unfairly, and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don’t deserve this.”

You poor rich celebrity. You thought – for good reason – that you could continue being the spoiled pampered ignorant brat that you are and you could continue to escape justice because of your last name. Now you have to deal with the horror that is spending 45 days in a prison that looks nicer than most low-income housing in major cities.

Where can I contribute to the I sniff coke and deep throat for sidekick pictures fund?

And just in time (as always), she appears on the cover of the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar with B.F.F., Nicole Richie. She tells the magazine, “I think I get in more trouble just because of who I am.”

No, you get in trouble because you’re an idiot. You can’t say you didn’t know you had a suspended license when the paperwork is in your car. Then again, why would you even bother reading since that doesn’t sound “hot.” Even still, if you’re going to drive when you’re not supposed to, wouldn’t you be incredibly cautious? Not this ditz, who decides to violate her probation by getting arrested for drunk-driving in September.

Reports The Daily News, “Wearing zebra-print outfits meant to resemble jail stripes the two starlets are pictured in a Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot running from models dressed as policemen.”

Feeling sorry for her yet?


  1. shani-o says:

    “I think I get in more trouble just because of who I am.”

    I think she’s right. Because, come on, who is she? A racist (and I don’t think people speak on this enough) poor-little-rich-girl who thinks the rules somehow don’t apply to her.

    People like that DO get in more trouble than the rest of us.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Dear Jesus,

    Please don’t let Paris come out with street cred after this.


  3. Lori says:

    Paris is buring all right. She better pray she doesn’t end up on lock-down with some ole girl who goes by the nick-name of “Big Sue” or else Lil Miss Paris just might end up itching and a burning (smile).

    In all seriousness, something tells me if Paris serves any time, it will end up being turned into yet another bad reality tv series.

  4. prachel says:

    don’t think I didn’t catch that film reference, graduate.