Forever My Girl

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Paula Abdul is either one of the most under-rated comedic geniuses of our time or she’s out of her damn mind. Whatever the case may be, after watching her new reality series on Bravo, Hey Paula, I have found my new guilty pleasure for the summer.

The show chronicles Paula Abdul’s interesting life as a former pop star of yesterdecade turned pop culture phenom of the moment as a judge on American Idol.

See Paula take continuous jabs at Simon Cowell even when he’s not around. I wonder if MC Skat Kat gets jealous.

See Paula win awards.

See Paula the businesswoman. Here’s a clip of her hawking her jewelry line on QVC. In the second episode of the reality series, we see a cautious Paula try to warn QVC execs that she might not top her previous high sales given that she doesn’t have the publicity machine provided by American Idol this time around. Also see Paula the businesswoman scold QVC designers for not keeping some pieces of the line in her vision. That vision doesn’t always come across as 20/20, but hey, it’s not my vision.

See millionaire Paula Abdul beg her employees for money to buy Starbucks and junk food out of the vending machine. “Got a dollar?” a mischievous, possibly high on life (or something) Paula asks a member of her staff. Ballers truly don’t carry cash.

See Paula cry. Often. Why does she cry?

One reason would be the type of press she generates after giving bazaar interviews such as these. The kind of interviews where she offers mumbled, incoherent responses that sparks televisions viewers across the nation to call her sobriety and sanity into question.

Paula repeats several times that she doesn’t do any recreational drugs while her handlers maintain that she’s just exhausted. Is she exhausted from her hectic work schedule or her prescription? You be the judge.

See Paula be loved and adored.

On one episode, Paula’s walking the streets of LA and is recognized by some of her fans. As they shout out that she’s a legend, Paula looks into the camera and says, “Do you hear that? Legend!” She then proceeds to nearly bust her ass in her heels. Those same fans shout out, “Ooops!,” but ever the trooper, Paula keeps on walking with her head held high. As she should.

You’ll also see Paula make new friends. After begging her employees for Starbucks money, we see Paula greet customers vacationing from Ireland. She asks them if she could travel back and stay with them. Not many people are that sweet to strangers from other countries anymore.

See Paula love herself. In a preview for this week’s episode she says, “I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.” Damn right.

Obviously secure, Paula can even joke about her greatness.

On the waning popularity of her music career: “The last time I had a hit record Bill and Hillary were having sex.”

I was just singing “Opposites Attract” a few hours ago. Perhaps I’ll finally get that comeback album?

On her love life: “My romantic life is a horror movie.”

I refuse to believe it’s that bad. She’s so fantastic. I’m betting she means one of those funny horror movies, like Scream 3.

For those of you that doubt Paula Abdul’s relevance in her post “Forever Your Girl” world or camera time outside of Idol, need I remind you of the greatness that was Being Brown World.

Hey Paula airs Thursdays on Bravo. Click here to catch up!

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