So, ‘the man’ is out to get my blog…again. This time, ‘the man’ won’t publish the Beyonce tumbling entry I wrote fifty-eleven hours ago. But, as you know, nann hater gon’ stop my show.
The entry – or what I can remember of it anyway – is as follows:
Although I’m sure by now you’ve seen it on every site in the blogosphere, Beyonce and/or Sasha suffered a fall while performing her second-single, the Kelis-channeling ‘love isn’t blind, it’s expensive’ anthem, “Ring The Alarm.”
Ever the trooper, despite the ugly fall, Beyonce rose right back and proceeded to finish her Janet Jackson inspired performance.
I wanted to add a fresh spin to the much discussed stumble by playing a little game I’d like to call, “Guess Whose Spirit Pushed Her Ass Down.”
A. Janet Jackson: Because Beyonce swagger-jacked the Rhythm Nation era for the choreography. Plus, she did the butterfly at the BET Awards – something Janet probably hasn’t been able to do in years. Plus, if you’ve seen Janet lately, she looks like if she pushed you, you’d fly the way Beyonce did. Love you, Damita Jo! 🙂
B. Rihanna: For obvious reasons. She looks like the type that will trip your ass up with an umbrella, doesn’t she?
C. LaTavia: Kelly got to tell us she was gon’ bump like this. LeToya’s torn heart gave her an R&B hit and #1 debut for her first solo record. Even Michelle has found a day job. Everyone’s been given a ninth chance except LaTavia — well except that other one that has the eyes like ‘Fat Cat’ from Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers, but I blinked my eyes and she was gone, so whatever. I remember hearing LaTavia has a tattoo that reads, “Me Myself & I” (or Shrimp Fried Rice Hold The Egg) in Chinese. I’d watch my back, Bee.
D. Kelly Rowland: See her first week sales (Hey, don’t get mad: I bought the record.). Actually, scratch that. Kelly is probably beating up the man who designed the coat Beyonce wore that got caught in her shoe, which caused her to take a dive on stage as I type. We’ll just list Rihanna twice. I’m sure she’ll do anything to keep her work visa.
Choose your answer wisely.
In all seriousness, I’m glad Beyonce is ok. Had she been seriously injured, I would’ve “borrowed” a kinfolk’s credit card and flew to the hospital she was receiving care at to lead a vigil. I might be waiting for the DVD of her concert (look I’ve seen her four times in three years, but I just graduated from college and I’m broke), but I am a fan. I actually bust my ass trying to sweep the flo’ with it on Saturday. The club was too crowded, but like Beyonce, I got right back up. I knew she would’ve wanted it that way.
Ok, so the original entry looked nothing like this. The other one was funnier and a shorter read. Laugh anyway.