Kelly Rowland Doesn’t Care About Success

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Using the change from Beyonce’s pocket and drawing inspiration from 90s era St. Ides commercials, Kelly Rowland has released the video for under-performing single number two, “Ghetto,” featuring Snoop Dogg.

I know what you’re thinking: “Soldier,” “Hood Boy,” “Can’t Leave ‘Em Alone,” and Monica’s post 2003 catalogue aren’t enough. We need more thug-lusting anthems on the radio. Who doesn’t love going on runs, getting knocked upside the head a few times, and visiting your man in jail?

Who cares if the only dice Kelly’s shot were probably on a Monopoly board game? Suburbanites with best friends named Barbara like Kelly should be allowed to celebrate the negative connotations of hood life like everyone else.

And what better way to do so than with an aging rapper who latches on to youth almost as hard as he does to his blunt.

Kelly has all the fine makings of a hot video: a green screen, a car, a Dodgers hat for a West Coast-inspired set, blue eye shadow, and purple hair? So ghetto.

I haven’t seen failure captured this well visually in a long time. This b.s. could even get a laugh out of Britney Spears.

I want to be behind Kelly, but when someone is this accepting of wackness, what can you do? I should have gone with my gut and used that $10 I spent on her album at Chili’s.

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