10 On Mimi, 10 More on Me

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All praises to Photoshop.

I should warn you: As we creep closer to the release date of Mariah Carey’s new album, expect multiple posts on the high octave rainbow chaser. What can I say, I like her. Today’s entry is on the people at Glamour being kind enough to grant Access Hollywood exclusive footage and enlighten us about ten unknown facts about Mariah Carey.

Number 1: I shouldn’t be doing this right now. I have a cold right now.

Number 2 is that I can’t spell.

Number 3: I always had a cheat list in school if I could get away with it. It wasn’t this big like, ‘here’s my cheat list,’ but it would be little and I would probably put it in here or something (points to her chest).

Number 4: The people that work with me, we just love each other.

Number 5: I can’t do anything mathematical.

Number 6: I have 500 hours of beauty school.

Number 7: One of the things people don’t know about me is that I can just make people appear at the drop of a hat. (Mariah’s friends pop on screen). Is that an amazing trait that I have?

Number 8: I love folk (sic) that really have a strong sense of who they are.

Number 9. What you really don’t know that it’s 3 a.m. and we’re about to go finish a song.

Number 10: I’m working on my new album, which is . . . . as yet untitled. Don’t write that title because that’s not the actual title, OK? So I don’t need to see somebody coming out with “As Yet Untitled,” copying the rainbow album.

Damn. I thought was going to learn something juicy. Like who told her dancing was a good idea.

In the spirit of Mariah, I’m going to share you ten unknown facts about me.

Number 01: I shouldn’t be doing this right now. I doubt you care to know any of this.

Number 02: I’m one of those people that will stop walking to dance if someone drives by playing a song I like. “I don’t care if we’re talking about life, you don’t hear that car blasting “Hood N*gga?”

Number 03: I believe “Suki Saki Sa Saki Su” from The Last Dragon is an underrated classic.

Number 04: One of my proudest moments in life is playing the wolf in the play, “Lil Red Goes To The ‘Hood” the summer after second grade.

Number 05: I don’t think I’m too small; I think other people are too big.

Number 06: I want to say I’m listening to some 90s era R&B/hip hop classic song right now for appearance sake, but actually I’m listening to Britney Spears’ “Radar.” Go ahead. Judge me.

Number 07: “Yeah you dance really sexual. Like it’s the first of the month and rent is due.” — A friend on me at the club.

Number 08: My brother calls me Brother Bun B. Muhammad. The Bun B comes from me, “Saying all the ghetto slang proper-like” and the Muhammad from me not eating pork or beef. He’s probably thinking about getting me a bow tie. Yes, we’re all special in my family.

Number 09: I used to write songs when I was eight. That’s when I had actual vocal talent. Puberty wasn’t kind to my voice. Maybe that’s why I hate on Chris Brown so much: He sings like his balls haven’t fallen yet he has a deal.

Number 10: I’m surprisingly a lot nicer than people expect me to be. Disclaimer: Someone might leave a comment that says otherwise, but pay them no mind.

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