What Would The IRS Say?

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I can only imagine how hard it must be a televangelist these days. When smart alecks aren’t getting beside themselves asking silly questions like, “Why do I have to pay you to pray for me?” they’re nitpicking how you spend money as if they’re owed some explanation as donators. First threshing floors were under assault; now it’s now universities. Do people not have any decency anymore?

Richard Roberts, President of Oral Roberts University, is denying a series of allegations enclosed in a lawsuit that cry foul play on the part of Roberts and his wife, Lindsay (its always a Lindsay nowadays, isn’t it).

Richard is the son of Oral Roberts. Oral founded the university twenty years ago. Now 89 and ‘semi-retired,’ Oral claimed that he was reading a spy novel when God appeared to him and told him to raise $8 million for the school or be “called home.” I wonder if God is in Oprah’s book club.

Richard Roberts is accused of illegal involvement in a local political campaign and lavish spending at donors’ expense, including numerous home remodeling projects, use of the university jet for his daughter’s senior trip to the Bahamas, and a red Mercedes convertible and a Lexus SUV for his wife, Lindsay.

And the wife?

Mrs. Roberts spent more than $39,000 at one Chico’s clothing store alone in less than a year, and had other accounts in Texas and California. She also repeatedly said, “As long as I wear it once on TV, we can charge it off.” The document cites inconsistencies in clothing purchases and actual usage on TV.

Seems like Mrs. Roberts is funky fresh dressed to impress, ready to hurt ‘em every early service. They don’t call it ‘Sunday’s Best’ for nothing.

University and ministry employees are regularly summoned to the Roberts’ home to do the daughters’ homework.

Might as well put her on some game and teach her the family way early.

Mrs. Roberts — who is a member of the board of regents and is referred to as ORU’s “first lady” on the university’s Web site — frequently had cell-phone bills of more than $800 per month, with hundreds of text messages sent between 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. to “underage males who had been provided phones at university expense.”

Tithes for tots: Mrs. Roberts is a freak. Exploiting Christ to channel your inner Mary Kay Letourneau? What a pity.

A longtime maintenance employee was fired so that an underage male friend of Mrs. Roberts could have his position.

Someone’s pillow talk game must be hella strong.

The lawsuit was filed by three former professors who allege that they were wrongly terminated after reporting the school’s involvement in a Tulsa mayoral race.

The professors also said their dismissals came after they turned over to the board of regents a copy of a report documenting moral and ethical lapses on the part of Roberts and his family.

Snitch heathens.

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