King of Weave

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He revolutionized the music video, forever altered the way we judge performances, and his overall style of singing and dancing has become almost a genre in itself — complete with a decade’s worth of clones. However, there is one aspect of Michael Jackson’s phenomenal career in entertainment that’s been largely ignored: his weave game. You read that right: It’s about time the man known for his fierce falsetto gets his kudos for his hot presses, extensions, and impeccable lace fronts. But before I get into that, I suppose I should do a quick recap of the days when he bought out the beauty supply store to rock his own hair.

Back in the days when his melanin count was a tad bit higher, young Mike was known for his adult-strength voice as much as he was for the extra puffs in his afro. He would pick that ‘fro until Off The Wall.

Then came Thriller, when he traded in the ‘fro for the Jherri-curl. Not even Tropicana had more juice than Mike back then. Look at those front curls — they don’t even move.

When he became bad (…bad, bad, you knew it, shamon), he decided to morph into El Debarge. He flipped that Jherri-curl into a hairstyle you typically only saw on Puerto Rican girls. Mike bucked the system and went against genetics. Who’s bad?

I’m going to speed through the Dangerous to HIStory eras — only because outside of that Ricki-Lake inspired short cut Mike had in the video for “You Are Not Alone,” he looked relatively the same — y’know, ponytails, fresh presses, and the like. Always fresh, though.

Besides, I think it’s best I get to the point of this entry: Why Mike deserves his praise and an honoree Just For Me cover.

Exhibit A.

Are those freestyle braids or something? It’s sad when a black man can wear a white woman’s hairstyle better than an actual white woman.

Exhibit B.

I shouldn’t be able to see that, Beyonce. Mike dances a lot more than you do, and not once have I seen him sweat his glue out.

Mike even keeps it tight in his mug shots.

Foxy, Foxy, Foxy. How are you going to let Michael Jackson play you like that?

If any of you try to come up with excuses for them, I have five words for you:

Keep it in the closet.

Mike may be a hundred years old in pop star years, and his credit score may be lower than Britney’s position on the charts, but he still keeps his hair did.

When Mike hung around Diana Ross, he learned the tricks of the trade. Ultimately, the apprentice exceeded the talents of the master. Young girls, take note.

Tell me that lace front doesn’t look good? Vanilla showed out on Ebony.

He’s smiling because he knows he wears that hair better than the Korean it originated from.

When we go with this:

Here’s the result:

You’ll never catch Mike looking like the woman on the left.

He’s already been recognized as the King of Pop, now it’s time for game to recognize game and hail Michael Jackson as the King of Lace Fronts.

Respect the crown.

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