When D-Listers Attack

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Happy 2008, ya’ll! I was going to kick off the year with something warm and fuzzy that would make early 90s Mariah Carey proud, but I’m compelled by the evil spirits of stupidity.

Have people not learned that MySpace is the devil (readers feel free to hit me up, though)? Beyonce’s little sister and this decade’s answer to Ray-J, Solange, has something to say about all of you haters people with sense on her MySpace blog.

I’ve probably already lost your attention because this is about the Knowles not named Beyonce, but here are a few highlights from the low life’s entry.

(please exuse my typos, im not writing a literature essay to get into harvard.
just a happy new years wish to everyone this will b one big run on sentence!

I hate when people start off ramblings with this. There’s no need to point out you paid more attention to Beyonce at rehearsal than you did in English. We can tell.

On her New Year’s Resolution:

use my middle finger alot more. i always think what person did that gesture and made it so famous for saying “f*ck you”! why wasnt it a pinky or a thumb? lol
but scince it does mean those clever two words i want to do it alot more.
its neccesary to be happy in life.
if you think about some of the most great and succesfull people and artist….. prince, oprah, bill gates, basquiat, andy warhol, murakami, michael jackson, kayne west, oh this list could go on forever…. they all had to say it once or twice in their lifetime.
people are always gonna try and tear u down for your individuality, your creative drive, you personal choices and all the little things that make you you!
people rag on me for everything, from my choices in shoes and lipstick color all the way up to my hair! but at the end of the day YOU have to be happy with YOU!

“Scince?” She did warn me. I hope Papa Knowles bought little Daniel and Solange Hooked on Phonics for Christmas. Solange has always been a little cocky somebody who would walk around Houston saying “Do you know who I am?” as if anyone cared. This is before Beyonce herself blew up, mind you. Now she wants the haters to cease and desist. Try getting fans first.

Look, I bought her album for $5.99, so despite Solange typically looking like “Who did it and why?” and “No really, who did that to you?” she has a degree of musical talent. Wasting time throwing out incoherent ramblings isn’t going to get her any notice for it, though. If you don’t care about people, you don’t waste your time constantly addressing people’s criticisms. If they don’t matter, they just don’t. Do you and do it well. This is why some people need to go start a journal in the new year.

Oh yeah, that part about individuality:

i want to be like the black bjork!

Zoom. Look at her go be herself. She needs to turn this video up really high:

She types like her keyboard gets high, and that makes me uncomfortable. That explains why she writes about white sheep, ex pills, and other nonsense. Please let her child have loads of Dr. Suess on deck.

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