Young Sinick
Now that “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” has become the most downloaded song in history, T-Pain has nearly 100 songs on the Hot 100, and any and every song designed for the club has a 90% chance of becoming a platinum ringtone, I’ve reached a very important decision in my life: I’m becoming a rapper.
Should I be one of depth, and return to the lyricism-focused days of hip hop? I could take a detour from the shallowness and materialism that consumes mainstream hip hop, and offer sociopolitical commentary that would be critically lauded and welcomed by audiences bored with what they hear on the radio.
Yahh bitch yahh! That is indeed Reynold’s Wrap. It will have to do until I find out if TV Johnny has a payment plan. I already have a vocoder on lay-a-way. I’m trying to find some software to make my Casio beats. I’ll be downloading, that, though. I’m too hood to pay for it.
I’ve been brainstorming song ideas. I made a list of every theme I need to cover to have a successful album.
I get money.
I pop bottles.
I’m rollin’.
My grill shines like this…
I have a Phantom.
My girl got a girlfriend.
I’m a dope boy.
I sell coke by the keys.
I sell weed by the pound.
I’m me.
I’m the shit.
Get low, bitch.
Make it clap, hoe.
Back that ass up, bitch.
Suck my dick.
“
“Crank That Paycheck”
“Hoebitch”
“Hotsauce”
“Pump My Gas”
“AIM Bitches”
“Kick That Hoe in The Throat”
“Seasoned Like Lawry’s”
“Pregaming”
“Pass The ‘Tussin”
“E-Beef”
“Trick Named Sallie”
FYI: “Hotsauce” is a dance. Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything on YouTube in due time. Just to give ya’ll of a little taste, you can expect to hear clever lines like, “I pops like chicken grease, fuck with me I’m pulling out my piece” throughout the album.
i stan for cynics
January 22, 2008 at 8:22 am
one tip: you can not act like you have a college education. one, b/c it disqualifies you from choosing a leader, ie the previous post. but most importantly, as souljah boy showed you: people respond to folks who talk like they’ve never been to an english class. whatever you do, don’t enunciate your words!
Anonymous
January 22, 2008 at 8:41 am
I literally laughed out loud at this post. The latter approach will get you record sales but you will have to do more than burn your degree. You may need someone on the inside to get rid of your records at HU.
There is a way to may the Reynolds look more believeable .lol
~G
iilrica
January 22, 2008 at 1:08 pm
nice grill. i dont like souljah boy, but i have to admit i learned the dance. its catchy. sometimes people dont want to think, especially kids these days. so u have to an extremely catchy beat and not say anything educational/political. michael u will then have yourself a winner. good luck. i’ll be your manager
Anonymous
January 22, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I’ll help you if you cut me in on 90% of the profits. I got another song title for you too: Bougie. I’m sure the lyrics will come easily.
shurgood
January 22, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I’d be first in line to buy your album.
clove
January 22, 2008 at 10:10 pm
dude, hilarious! i know im downloading “AIM Bitches” lol. all you need is a chopped and screwed hook and you’re set. and when you get a label deal holla at me for some coverage!…i love “I’m me” lol
btw my first rap song is gonna be called “Boyeee”…and the hook is just “yea, boyeee” over and over (when in doubt, just make weird sounds) when it hits it’s gonna be ri. di. cu. lous
Brittany
January 23, 2008 at 12:47 am
Make it blink … make it bllllllank!!!
the joy
January 23, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Do the sinick! *poses with a puzzled look*
Loves it! I know it ruins your anonymity to put pix up, but I always thought you were ugly. Think about that.
Michael
January 23, 2008 at 3:48 pm
@ the anonymity comment: There’s a link to my Myspace page on the right side of the layout.
As for you thinking I was a bugawolf, haha. I take it that’s because conventional wisdom dictates all critical people are bugawolves. LOL.
And thanks to everyone that’s down for the cause.
shani-o
January 23, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Mikey, I’d TOTALLY download your album.
And yeah, Joy… he’s pretty hawt.
Sweetieluvs20
January 24, 2008 at 1:07 pm
LOL! You are so funny. It just might work if you get enough views on You Tube, say you are from Atlanta or Miami, have a catchy beat for your first single, and get Lil Wayne to flash his face across the screen and say “Cash Money, it’s Weezy F. Baby.” Next thing you know everybody is gonna start doin the Hotsauce and bam your the next platinum ringtone superstar!
Elle
January 24, 2008 at 1:49 pm
“Kick that hoe in the throat” – you know all the girls are gonna be dancing to that one – LMFAO
P.S You have got 5 kids by 5 different women haven’t you?…at least pretend you do, you gotta a reputation to keep. Lol
iman
January 24, 2008 at 4:19 pm
at first i thought your list of songs was lyrics. but when i think of it, you shoud just use them as your lyrics. just read the list over a hot beat w/ ur vocoder. i’ll lace a couple tracks w/ some hooks if u want…
sem
January 24, 2008 at 5:29 pm
i can make a guest appearance.
i have a letter of rec from elle b.
go get ‘em!
(then, repent)
:/
Stacie von Kutieboots
January 25, 2008 at 5:04 am
i want you on my booty music song, “Head Shoulders Knees and Hoes”
Darby
January 27, 2008 at 12:46 am
i’m done with you…
because it hurts to laugh this hard.
Anonymous
January 27, 2008 at 3:50 am
OMG, this is you at your best – I just about died when you said ‘Trick Named Sallie’ as a working title. Always enjoyabl to read. \\ Elle\\
Mlle Mitchell
October 20, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I’m too busy dying to type. I think I lost it at Hotsauce.