Plans to launch my rap career are coming along just fine, fine, fine, fine. It looks like I have already found my very own Memphis Bleek. Some of you may be wondering why would I choose an elderly white man to be my hypeman. What you should be asking is why wouldn’t I? With him on board I now have a smoother path towards crossing over, as well as a clever way to work my second single, “Crank That Paycheck.” Who else can crank their paychecks better than the dude from NBC News?
And since he’s already rich, I don’t really have to break the bank (or rob one) to pay him. As my lawyer as already informed me, I can pay him in street cred (thank you, Brittany). Look at David spinning — he’s down. He’s getting it better than Mary. This is exactly why Mary has toned it down a little. They’re not requesting “I Can Love You” on The Today Show, but they will be asking me on to appear on stage so they can watch David jig to “AIM Bitches.”
Mark my words.