1. Barbara Walters is a freak.

2. Fox News continues to show it’s a “fair and balanced” network by interviewing Pastor Manning — the mayonnaise sandwich eating, pseudo prophet who probably misses the good old 9-5 jobs slavery once provided.

3. Jay-Z releases another song, leaving me to wonder just how many more songs with references to hustling/drugs, being a God, and being rich over a Timbaland beat can his ass make?

Meanwhile, he has signed on to become the new face of Fendi. That’s gangsta.

3/28/08 – A MESSAGE FROM BEYONCE!

Yesterday, “Beautiful Nightmare,” a demo I’ve been working on for possible inclusion on my next album, leaked on some websites. I want to thank all my fans for the positive response to the song, but I want to tell you that this is just a work in progress. It is not my time to put out new music. If you really want to hear some really great music now, you have to support my girls Kelly, Michelle and my sister Solange. Kelly just re-released her album digitally in the US, so check out “Ms. Kelly: Diva Deluxe.” Michelle is about to put out the first single, “We Break The Dawn,” from her album and Solange’s single, “I Decided,” is already one of my favorites.

4. Beyonce has caused Kelly Rowland to flood her bedroom.

5. Wendy might not only be a swinger, but she may also be getting Ike’d by her husband. If these allegations are true, it’s time to start a prayer circle. Let’s just hope God isn’t a Whitney Houston fan.

6. Some publicist takes his job way too seriously as he brands Vivica A. Fox a “fashion icon.” I suppose she’s a fashion icon to chicks like:

…y’know, the type of chick that buys their hair, clothes, food, and gas all at the same place.

7. Mariah Carey decides to sing on key for a change. Too bad it was on the performance that didn’t air on MTV.

8. Dru Hill becomes “Sisqo with Dru Hill” in a joint bill with Jaheim. Who knew the “Thong Song” warranted Diana Ross status?

Sidenote: They have the nerve to charge $60.00 to see Jaheim, Dru Hill, and “Thong Song.”

9. Apparently, male nipples are offensive now, too according to the Orlando Sentinel.


10. Tyra Banks continues to show why the world has to make sure that Oprah never dies.

After being found guilty for shooting her friend outside of a New York club over $3000, Remy Ma faces up to 25 years in prison. It seems the thought of being Foxy Brown’s cellmate for even 25 seconds was enough to take the rapper to MySpace to ask her fans (stop laughing) to write her judge with the hopes that it will result in her receiving a lenient sentence.

Her website says: “Please write letters about how Remy and her music has positively affected you, influenced you, inspired you, etc.”

If you want to send a letter, send it to lettersforremy@gmail.com.

I’ve decided to take this opportunity to do my good deed for the quarter.

Dear Judge:

I’m sure by now you’ve received letters from all over the world pleading with you to take it easy on Remy Ma. Well, I’d like to join those six people and ask that you please have some sympathy towards Remy.

I’ll be honest and say that when I first found out she shot her friend over a couple of thousand dollars, I said to myself, “Self. That’s a stupid ass broad.”

I thought that if she goes to jail, oh well. But that was wrong, judge. Very wrong.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking with some of her lyrics, she’s glorifying the very violent acts she’s since been found of guilty of committing.

“My name is Remy Ma/and I don’t play, I let that lead fly!”

“I’mma bus in the stands/wouldn’t mind goin’ to jail for clappin’ one of my fans!”

“Chrome to ya dome/leave your face down, bullets, lodged in ya bone/see I’m a rapper, but it ain’t just rhymin’/what you know about turnin’ an autograph signin’ into a crime scene!”

“Nigga push up like a bra, I’m strapped/he like yo ma what’s that/I’m like yo, that’s in case you wanna get clapped!”

Ok, so that looks bad. Maybe she does promote violence a little bit. But think of it this way: If that bitch was that gangsta (her words), would she be on MySpace begging her 12 fans to whine you into giving her a get out of jail free card? See, judge: She ain’t trill.

Instead of focusing on the negative, I want to highlight some of the good things Remy has done for the community.

Have you heard of the song “Conceited?” Probably not, but just so you know it’s the perfect self-esteem anthem. It lets people know that they can be conceited so long as they have a reason. It brings people together all in the name of arrogance. Yes, judge – even those bugawolves that have no business feeling themselves like that. She includes them, too. Giving monsters hope should knock off a couple years off her sentence.

Then there’s “Lean Back.” Y’know, that dance song that’s not a dance song. It’s for people who are too hung up on acting hard, but still want a dance to do in the club. It’s also for people like Fat Joe, the mastermind behind the song. See, he wants to dance, but if you look at him, you see that he looks like he can barely move, so that song allows him to execute as much motion without flooding the club out with his sweat as humanly possible. Remy assisted him in that goal by lacing that track. Isn’t that like community service?

Sticking with Remy the artist, have you looked at the current breed of female rappers? Do you really want to be the one to add to that endangered species list? Do you really want to leave the world with just Trina and Lil’ Marlon Mama, judge? Do you?

Alright, let’s talk about the crime itself. Judge, I know what she did was wrong, but I think she’s taught us an all important lesson about when keepin’ it real goes wrong.

Just recently I was at a drive-thru and there was this big grouchy, Snuffalufagus looking girl taking my order. On top of having a bad attitude, she got my order wrong. I asked for two fish sandwiches, judge. Not one, but two. I was so hungry, and she only gave me one punk ass fish sandwich. I think the bitch ate my sandwich and charged me for it anyway. Like Remy, I was so angry because I felt like someone stole from me. Remy was on Fat Joe’s label. I doubt she has that much money. Her album sold 14 copies. She’d probably choke a bitch over a fish sandwich, too.

But you see judge, because I’ve learned from Remy that kirkin’ out on people over small amounts of money will only lead to your downfall I didn’t go back and throw hot sauce at the fish sandwich stealing fool.

If you let Remy stay out of jail, through her music, her choices in hair, and record labels, she can teach the world what not to do with your life. Plus, she can teach people like me that shooting people who steal from you isn’t the answer: kicking their ass is. I keed. Don’t try to lock me up.

Now, you could be a hater and let Remy deal with the consequences of her actions. But am I going to get a “Conceited Part II” out of that option? No. So please lean back on that sentence, judge.

Said I look too good to be writing this,

Young Sinick

Instead of sitting in a special ed class learning about the dangers of eating paste, how to color within the lines, the little ringtone rapper that could is allowed to roam the streets freely to create what looks like a commercial to put a bullet in hip-hop.

I remember the interview where Soulja Boy claimed to be the hottest emcee in the game — I figured he was high on Wite-Out or Sour Patches and just talking out the side of his neck. But judging from this, I think this Hooked on Phonics failure actually thinks he can spit.

Why are those two little retards in the background continuously yelling, “AHH!” Does Soulja Boy pay them to sound that stupid on command or is he just that lucky?

What happened to the sophistication of one, maybe two hit wonders like Skee-Lo and Tone Loc?

Did ya’ll hear him say: “You can hate me/But you still love the fucking flow?”

Well: You’s a lie, you can’t rap, bitch. Damn ya mama for not just swallowing dick..AHH!

I told ya’ll: Young Sinick is coming. Don’t sleep.

Thanks to NovaSlim for posting this on this site. Now whenever anyone asks me how I can argue this country is getting dumber, I have video.

Let this be a lesson to you: If you’re going to break the law, you better be famous first. A convicted felon gets caught with G.I. Joe’s arsenal (with silencers to boot), and he gets a year in prison (15% of which can be reduced through good behavior), and a year to do the type of community service he does anyway. Which basically means he has a year to make enough videos to forget the 8 or 9 months he’s actually locked up. And of course, he’ll have another album already prepped for release upon his release.

I like T.I., but if he had gone to jail under the typical sentence a non-famous person in his position would have received, I would’ve been fine with it. You can only get so many chances to get away with your idiocies — and he’s been testing the system for a while now.

Oh well: I’m looking forward to the album. You know it’s going to be dope. Speaking of dope, it would be in his best interest to stop recording songs with lyrics that go: “I’m the dopeman nigga/
The dopeman nigga, the dope dope dope the dope dopeman nigga.”

Just a thought.

Anyway, I’m sure he’s on his knees thanking God and his attorney for getting him out of this. Hopefully, that’s not a position he’ll have to be in for most of his sentence. Napoleon complex and crazy short-man gene aside, dude makes me look like a Klump. Not a good look for prison. Hey, I’m just saying.

Tiny better start a prayer circle so he won’t mess up again. She can’t live off those Xscape royalties to take care of that litter of kids they have.

Oh yeah, about the video: Is it me or does T.I. talk like its 1863?

I think it’s time we sat every has been and never was down and explain to them that not every forgotten singer, actor, or their cousins deserves a reality show. The same applies to MySpace hoes, groupies, and random pretty rich white people with problems.

I’m going to be honest and say, I did like some of Blaque’s songs. In fact, my AIM screen name references their first (of a whopping two) hit single, “808.”

Stop laughing at me.

In my defense, I was 15, and I’m not very good with coming up with names and titles sometimes. I think the video just happened to be on TV, and well, like I said, sometimes I don’t know any better.

No, for real: Stop laughing at me. Ok, fine. I had it coming.

Anyway, Blaque joins Dawn Robinson, Suge Knight, the lost boys of B2K, and probably Al B. Sure! in trying to regain relevance through the exhausted trend of launching a reality show. Their “show” is called, Blaque In The House. I’m guessing they got that house through Section 8.

It’s not to say they shouldn’t give it another go, but does anyone really care to watch this? I mean, I’m talking about it, but I’m doing it to make fun of them. It’s not the nicest thing to do,
but c’mon, how can you not laugh when at the beginning of the promo you see, “Ten years ago, three girls, and one mentor, changed the face of R&B music. Forever.”

Are you laughing yet?

Notice T-Boz, Chris Tucker, and Ronnie Devoe all make cameos in the promo. You know, it’s nice to see 1999, 1995, and and 1991 B.C. still alive and kicking, but does anyone else look at that as a sign?

The second TLC that never was wants to be the new Salt ‘n Pepa.

Yeah, good luck with that.

At the conclusion of her Access Granted for the “Heaven Sent” video, Keyshia J. Blige talked about her love of the Queen of Hip Hop Soul, noting that she and the first Mary J. Blige are both strong women that have been through a lot — although she made it clear that she is her own person.

Yeah, about that: As much as I like Keyshia Cole, her original album cover for Just Like You looked like a lost promo shot from the Share My World era. Then there’s her second single sounding like a direct rip off of “Enough Cryin’.” I can’t forget the swagger jacking of Mary’s old wigs and haircuts. And now this video.

Keyshia: Mary called. She’d like her video treatment back. This is the “Everything” video on a different beach.

I like Keyshia’s sophomore album so much that I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt. But if I hear she started getting her ass beat, I’m going to call the police and get Mary’s life back.

Have you ever looked at Mariah Carey and wondered just what the hell does she really look like?

If you told me Mariah Carey looked like a big Black man named Percy in person, I would believe you,because she damn sure doesn’t look like this photo.

The Miracle of Adobe continues its unnatural havoc on Mariah Carey’s promotional posters. Sure, it’s a lovely picture: Too bad that’s not Mariah Carey’s face or body.

Whatever graphic design genius Mariah has working on her promotional shots deserves an award. I bet he could make Michael Jackson look like Akon if you paid him enough overtime.

I may be a lamb on the low, but I have to be honest. After years of wine and anti-depressants, Mariah’s face has taken on a more rotund shape. Think Miss Piggy. But thanks to Photoshop, they always have her looking like Jessica Rabbit. That’s just not believable.

There’s nothing wrong with Miss Piggy, Mimi. I actually think it’s appropriate considering Jermaine Dupri has the same shoe size as Kermit T. Frog.

Be natural, my biracial butterfly. We’ll still love you.

While I joined other supporters in the hopes that Barack Obama could engineer a campaign that transcended race, I still held onto the suspicion that ultimately his brown hue would become an issue amongst those in the media and general public.

We can all thank Bill Clinton for first interjecting race into the national debate with his unwarranted (and transparent) likening of Obama to Jesse Jackson, but the now infamous footage of Obama’s pastor, Jeremiah Wright, controversial sermons has given the pundits exactly what they wanted: a way to really put race at the forefront of the campaign.

Though Americans like to tell themselves that race is not the factor that it once was, when the opportunity to evade political correctness and share thoughts on racial issues presents itself, people typically seize upon it.

As the mainstream media continues to dance over the point that Reverend Wright’s comments on 9/11 actually stem from a white U.S. ambassador that shared similar views on Fox News, conservative pundits like Pat Buchanan are seizing the opening they have long salivated for.

In “A Brief for Whitey,” noted conservative politician, author, and commentator, Pat Buchanan published an angry rebuttal to Barack’s historic speech on race relations in America.

Where Obama’s speech dabbled in nuances, Buchanan takes the direct approach in his assessment of the country’s tainted past with the Black community with such a biased view of history that it perpetuates the very racial schism Obama’s speech provokes the country to evaporate.

Buchanan writes: “First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.”

In essence: Be grateful to God (with his beautiful, piercing blue eyes) that we offered you a free boat ride to paradise, you Black savages. Show gratitude that we remixed some of your beliefs and fused them with our own religious doctrine so that we could save you from your wicked ways. We treated you as if you were beneath us for centuries, and look at yourselves: You now posses a fraction of our success. We did all this to motivate you. It was for your own good. Say you’re welcome.

He goes on to argue that, “no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans” – citing welfare, Section 8, Pell grants, student loans, Medicaid, soup, kitchens, daycare, and affirmative action as means of lending credence to the notion that white America has been the Black community’s best friend.

Funny, that’s not how Black people and fair-minded people of any racial and ethnic background see things, but I suppose I didn’t eat enough government cheese as a child to validate convenient theories for him.

If you’re wondering if white people, and in particular, white women have benefitted from such programs more so than Blacks historically, you’d be right – but Pat would probably tell you to shut up the same way he told author and fellow commentator Keli Goff weeks ago.

Buchanan represents the struggling working class white American. Well that’s at least the ruse he and people like Sean Hannity like to run on people as they build fortunes on promoting racial divides. Nevermind Pat’s own controversial views about Jews, women, and gays, or Sean Hannity’s reported past relationships with Neo-Nazi’s. It’s not about that. This is about the hateful Reverend Wright and how his perceived hatred gives them free reign to be more vocal about their own bigoted ideology – or “A Brief for Whitey” as Pat likes to call it.

It was bound to happen anyway, but Reverend Wright’s mirror-turning rant on America opened the door for not-so-closeted racists to let loose and share another vent against America’s greatest target (or if you adhere to Buchanan’s logic, America’s greatest dependant).

Project Pat continues: “Is white America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of white America? Is it really white America’s fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of white America or, first and foremost, a failure of the black community itself?”

Are you looking at this in disbelief? Are you yelling at the screen about unfair prison sentences, schools being segregated now more than ever, and a major discrepancy in how school funds (what little left anyway) are allocated? You shouldn’t bother; it’s not going to change the minds of people like Pat anyway (nor Pastor Wright, for that matter).

It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this, but it was to be expected. The optimist in Barack Obama speaks to the promise of this country.

It is the idea that, we, as a country, can have a substantive conversation on race, and work towards making meaningful progress in absolving some of the long-standing racial strife in America. It remains to be seen if that dream will ever come to fruition, but if it is it’s clear that be it Reverend Wright or Pat Buchanan, a lot of people want to get things off their chests before we ever reach that point.


Necole Bitchie is one of the nicer bloggers of cyberspace given that she’s more than willing to help put other bloggers on. She’s taken her generosity to the next level with the launch of The Urban Blogger – a new social network designed to help bloggers who have interests dedicated to the urban market (eff yo brown paper bag — we clown people, too) connect with each other. There’s useful info, a forum to ask your questions, and she will do spotlights on various blogs in an effort to give bloggers a little shine and the extra traffic. It’s relatively new, but growing, so if you have a blog and you’re looking to help it gain additional notice, gon’ head and click the link and sign up.

Uh huh.


Normally on this site, I spend most of the time offering commentary critical of various aspects related to the world of pop culture and politics. But there are times when criticism ought to take a backseat so that we can properly honor people that have made substantial contributions to society. Contributions that not only bring us together despite our differences, but contributions that bring joy into the hearts and minds of all who partake in its glory.

And arguably, what brings more joy into the hearts and minds of people than a good wing dinner and a biscuit covered in grape jelly? Today, I would like to take the time to salute Al Copeland: mastermind behind the brilliant and fulfilling business venture now known as Popeyes Chicken.

Although he has left this world, his legacy of succulent wings and delectable chicken strips will live on forever.

It really pains me to write this, because this man has done so much for me. Even though their mashed potatoes are as nasty as Paris Hilton’s prescriptions, their biscuits are indeed the business. Those onion rings – which some punk ass restaurants now refuse to sell – introduced me to a dish I ignored for so long. And those chicken strips, my goodness — if the creators of Chicken Little thought I was going to start dipping shrimp into my confetti sweet and sour sauce instead of some Popeyes chicken strips, they need to get off the pipe.

I considered forgoing another meal of brown rice, veggies, and baked chicken in favor of two Chick-fil-a sandwiches tonight. But I think it’s only right that if I’m going to digest the grease, I need to stop trying to be saddity and honor a man that has done so much for me. I think I may go order some chicken, and pour a little sauce on the side in memoriam. I’m sure somewhere Beyonce is doing the same (she probably didn’t waste the sauce, though).

Thank you, Al for giving so much to the world. Some people may think I’m perpetuating a stereotype right now (It’s not like I’m typing this with watermelon seeds in my teeth), but I love Popeyes and it’s only right that I show appreciation.