Lip Porn

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Building on the pledge she made to take her winnings from Charm School and start her own business, Saaphryi has premiered the first ad for her lip chap line. After watching this commercial, I don’t know if I’m supposed to order something for my lips or give Saaphyri $2.99. Nothing says ‘lip chap’ like some zooming into someone’s breasts and crotch as you whisper like a phone sex operator. I see charm school really paid off.

According to her YouTube page, Saaphyri’s Lip Chap is a unisex lip balm. If you don’t know what that means, she breaks it down for you: “Saaphyri’s Lip Chap is a Unisex lip balm! Which means it is for boys and girls and everyone in between!” That’s right every man, woman, and tranny can make sure their lip gloss is poppin’!

And it comes in “10 wonderful flavors,” including bubble gum, cookie dough, watermelon, peach, vanilla, pina colada, mojito, strawberry, green apple, and wintergreen. What dude wants his lips smelling like a pina colada? Probably the same alcoholic that likes mojito-flavored lips, I suppose.

I’m all for helping the entrepreneurs of the world, so if you’re down, head on over to Saaphryi.com and taste the rainbow. Oh wait, that’s the Skittles tag line. I don’t want to get sued. Let me remix that.

If you want the bar on your lips all day, everyday, head on over to Saaphryi.com and order you some lip grease.

I need to look into a career in marketing.

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