Juke Idol

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I like Fantasia. She seems like a nice and genuine person. I was happy when she won American Idol, and I had hopes that she would manage to become a legitimate R&B star. She may not be a classic beauty, but her looks, personality and her voice are all unique, thus making her who she is – and that’s pretty beautiful in the grand scheme of things.

OK, whatever.

Having said that, what the hell is wrong with her? Perhaps I’m living under Fraggle Rock, but I forgot American Idol still came on, so I’ve been a little late in responding to this.

Since when did American Idol become Shug Avery’s Juke Joint? And just who exactly gave her the number to Big Red’s beautician? Whoever is responsible for sending Fantasia her way, I rebuke their SIM card. Oh, and the velvet ensemble: God be some cotton. That is not sessy, ‘Tasia. That’s the anti-sessy.

Alright, forget all of that superficial stuff, because I’m sure there are people out there who love both Koolaid and velvet and think Fantasia looks good. Let’s get to what really counts: her voice.

Why does she sound like that?

I’ve noticed from some of the responses around the internet(s) that some people actually enjoyed her performance, but I don’t know them like that to ask if they’re masochists. That’s a whole lot of screaming going on. I haven’t heard screaming like that since CPS tried to take some trifling’s mama’s child away. Whatever happened to the Fantasia who performed “Summertime” with such finesse? Did the Koolaid man who inspired that hairstyle eat her?

Fantasia is twirling around dancing like somebody’s frisky Aunt Girdy, and screaming like she’s on the set of Saw 18. No wonder Simon looked at her like she was crazy. This isn’t a preview of the future, is it?

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