Shut Up

Geraldine Ferraro is a bitter, delusional, self-important peon that cries victim hood while playing dumb about her privilege in this country. Naturally, that makes her a frequent guest on the Fox News network. After embarrassing herself months ago for running off at the mouth that she’s not racist, and that she’s done things for “them,” Geraldine is back at it.

What’s she whining about now? SEXISM! C’mon: What else does her silly self have to talk about? In lieu of recent reports that a certain faction of Hillary Clinton supporters have vowed to campaign against Barack Obama in the fall, Geraldine is not missing the opportunity to brand the Obama campaign as sexist. But she doesn’t stop there. Now Black journalists are sexists (and probably racist in her eyes, too) for their coverage of reality (the fall of Hillary Clinton).

I am really sick and tired of people crying sexism in reference to Hillary Clinton. First off, Hillary Clinton is an Ivy League educated white woman from an upper middle class background. Since when did that become the new illegal immigrant or Black child living in a single parent home in the worst part of the city?

On top of that, for all of her “30 years of experience,” much of it has to do with her connections to her husband. Yes, she made the choice to leave her legal career in D.C. to help Bill get into politics in Arkansas. And people are right in noting that for a very long time, she made the bulk of their income. She deserves praise for her sacrifices. Still, as far as her political career goes, she would be nothing without Bill, so why is exactly is she some heroine to some feminists? Why not someone like Condoleezza Rice, Kay Bailey Hutchinson, or Claire McCaskill? Those women have done well in politics and as far as I know, they didn’t get by because of their husbands.

Anyway, this bitter fallen politician that was nothing more than a token on a presidential ticket twenty years ago herself thinks any criticism of Hillary equates a misogynistic attitude. Y’know, any reference to Hillary’s pandering to rural voters that she’s just some old gun toting, beer drinking, regular “girl”: That means your sexist. If you point out that she’s a liar, you hate women. And blah, blah, blah she goes.

What about Hillary purposely saying Obama isn’t Muslim “as far as she knows?” Or what about her dismissing the results of the Louisiana primary as nothing more than the Black community displaying pride for their fellow colored? Oh, that was nothing to her. Probably because Geraldine has dismissed every Black candidate with some moderate level of success in a presidential primary (all two of them) as nothing more than a token getting by thanks to the Black vote.

That’s all acceptable and not racist, but any criticism of Hillary suggests you’re Ike Turner. Please put a muzzle on this old bird. Wait. Is that sexist, too?

Hillary’s been playing it both ways this entire campaign, and the reason why she’s losing as nothing to do with being a woman. I honestly think she could take Obama out with one punch, so it’s not an issue of “toughness.” She just ran a poor campaign. It’s not Barack Obama or the media’s fault that on the day she declared her candidacy, she sat in a chair acting as if she were being crowned the Queen of the USA while Obama’s people were out in Iowa telling folks they don’t have to live half of their lives with a Bush or Clinton as president.

I’m tired of undeclared racists like Geraldine Ferraro acting as if there’s this huge double standard about race and gender when in fact at the end of the day people that look like her have it a whole lot easier than people that look like me and Barack Obama. Barack Obama has faced hurdles over his race and rumors about his religion (which is a separate issue in itself). Hillary Clinton won’t be the nominee because people don’t believe her. Her bad.

Notice Geraldine can talk about Obama’s surrogates being sexist, but she won’t speak on women choosing to actively campaign against him to help John McCain. Last time I checked, McCain voted against the equal pay for women bill and is pro-life, so why would women want him to be President?

People like Geraldine irk the hell out of me . If a Big Black man fresh out of jail from a bogus sentence walked into her and knocked her silly ass to the ground, only to be stepped over by a short overweight Mexican woman late for 12 cents an hour job, I’d smile all week.

Break The Dawn

I wouldn’t be surprised if some of Michelle’s nicknames were along the lines of “Goosey Lucy”, or maybe “Mabel” or “Ms. Tubman.” There’s something about her that screams old lady soul. No, there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, I like Betty Wright. “Uh uh…pure loving. Said I like that sugar. Uh. Uh. Uh. Pure loving, there’s nothing phony about it.” Whew. Sorry for the random outburst, but that’s my stuff, ya’ll.

Anyway, Michelle has decided to opt out of the gospel genre because heathens sell more ringtones. Her first foray into the sounds of hedonism is “We Break The Dawn.” Though some worried about Michelle’s choice to go for a more secular sound, this song comes across as less like hell’s theme song and more like something aimed at the teeny boppers that make up the base for TRL and Disney Radio.

It’s OK, I guess. It’s not something I’ll be jiggin’, too, though. Still, I really like Goose Luce because she makes the effort. This video looks like its budget costs about as much as a General Tso’s Chicken lunch special, but she made the most of it. That’s the difference between someone who really wants it (Tub Tub) and someone who doesn’t (Kelly!).

She looks pretty, and from the looks of it, she seems to be enjoying herself feeling that man up and getting the Beyonce treatment on the red carpet. I’m not even mad at them tossing her around like a Ms. Kelly album while she struts on you, hoes. Go ‘head Mabel. Shake it like a Geritol bottle!

The Minors Are Our Future

“Bust It Babies,” “Smell Your Dick,” and Pretty Ricky tunes aside: I still have hope (albeit declining) for the chirren of our future.

Though you can’t always tell there are indeed people who can still actually sing on key. That’s right, without the assistance of a vocoder, autotunes, and background singers doing all the work for them — they still exist.

Naturally, none of them are allowed to drink legally, so one can only hope the industry doesn’t destroy them by the time they can. Make a note of Lindsay Lohan’s career.

Anyway, here are a few minors I don’t hate!

If you’re not familiar, this is JoJo. To be honest, when I first saw her on TRL (I know: I forgot all about that show, too) a couple of years ago, I didn’t think much of her. Not that she couldn’t sing or anything. It’s just that she was like 12 to me, and yeah, I didn’t really care.

But, a friend put me on to her in the funniest of ways, and after being sent some songs (Memo to the RIAA: It was so “legal”), I became a fan.

What I like about her is that she doesn’t think she should be praised every other second for being able to sing well. And, she’s not nasty towards other singers who sell more albums or get larger praise than she does. If you’re wondering, yes, I’m talking about Christina Aguilera. I used to be a big fan of hers, but she irks me to no end now. I can see exactly why people walked off the dance floor at prom the second her single started playing.

Back to JoJo. Now that she has the legal right not to vote for Hillary Clinton, I’m looking forward to more mature material. I’m a huge Teena Marie fan, and while no one will ever be able to replace her, maybe I can at least have a new Christina Aguilera – just as long as JoJo doesn’t start ending every line with “HA!” during live performances.

If you ever get a chance, you should download “Butterflies” and “Do Whatcha Gotta Do.”

Yeah, I said it. Say something.

I’m a little concerned that one of the few songs on radio with the slightest bit of depth comes from a 16-year-old girl.

From the looks of it, Karina Pasian seems like a talented, sweet, nice young lady (Oh I’m getting old). That’s why I fear her label will try to stick in her stilettos before the end of the year. As much as I love her, not everyone has to be Beyonce.

While I’m at it, they don’t have to be Alicia Keys either, which is what I suspect her handlers are marketing her as. No Alicia stans, that’s not a diss to Alicia. I’m just saying, Brandy, Monica, and Aaliyah all had their little thing going, so let’s not be so clone happy is all.

Then there’s Tiffany Evans, who I spotlighted a few weeks ago. Yes, I’m still happy she was singing about a promise ring and not child support.

I don’t know where this girl is, but I hope her career hasn’t already peaked. Please, someone sign her, and please refrain from passing her off to Akon, Polow, and T-Pain. Nothing personal, but voices like that deserve to be heard, not drowned out from overproduced club anthems and 16 bars from whatever rapper they could find around the corner.

It kind of makes me sad to realize that if Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday were born in my generation, they wouldn’t get anywhere near the charts unless they were able to drop down low and sweep the flow with it.

I wish I had watched this show at the time Paris was on. I would’ve actually grabbed somebody else’s cell phone and texted in a couple dozen votes for her.

Anyhow, there you go. Just a few examples of the potential still left in music. Maybe it will take a dozen more flops for the industry heads to realize that people might actually want to buy something (albeit perhaps not in the traditional medium) if so many artists dropping didn’t come across as third-tier versions of acts we were already sick of six months ago.

Never say I don’t love the kids! And if you’re going to get on me for clowning Lil’ Mama and Teyana Taylor, I mean c’mon, have you seen the way they dress. Can you blame me?

More People

I’m starting to feel bad for the Clinton campaign — well Chelsea anyway. Look at her speaking at Shady Pines. From the looks of these people they look bored out of their minds. Like they can’t wait for her to wrap it up so they can go play in their medicine cabinet. My friend told me they look more like they’re saying, “That’s not my granddaughter! They tricked us! I’m going back to my rocker!” Sounds about right. Thank you, S. Lake.

I wonder where she’s going.

I know she’s out there.

75,000 people hopped – including those on their boats – came to listen to Obama speak. It’s exciting, yet kind of eerie, no?

Everyone with a clue knows that it’s been over, no matter how hard they try to convince us (and themselves) otherwise. She’ll probably win Kentucky tomorrow, but if I were Hillary Clinton, I would’ve showed up as this rally with a cup. She knows she needs the money.

Run and Hide?

This is Greg the Barber. If you haven’t heard, Greg has become the subject of internet folklore after he reportedly knocked Suge Knight out at a club recently. Despite getting jumped by Suge’s folk, Greg reportedly channeled Donnie McClurkin and Ike Turner and put Suge on his back.

Now I understand that being hailed as the real life Craig for doing the unthinkable (knocking Suge Knight down) must be pretty surreal, but am I the only one watching this video thinking, “They shootin’ — Ahh, made you look?”

Better yet: “I see red people.” I hope he has some FBI connect or something, because Suge Knight doesn’t strike me as the type to let public humiliation go easily.

If you look towards the end of the video, you see homie’s wrists need crutches, but since he can obviously pack a punch, maybe he isn’t worried. That or the skull on his shirt shoots hollow-point bullets.

Don’t be surprised if we find out that Greg sent Suge Knight a card apologizing for “accidentally running his first into Mr. Knight’s face.” Then again, he seems to be enjoying the attention, so maybe he’s not scared.

Good luck on trying to land a VH1 reality show out of this whole thing, pimpin’. He’s already been offered a PPV match against Suge Knight set for New Years Eve. Yes, I’m serious. Don’t even try to act surprised.

’08

That is me and the ever beautiful and talented Queen-to-Be herself, Charreah at graduation this time last year. It’s been a year, and with that in mind, I’d like to wish everyone graduating this month (and yes, even you late people with the quarter system) congratulations.

My fellow Bison graduated a week ago, and today, a number of good friends at other schools across the country are chunking the deuce to their respective colleges.

Up until I got closer to the actual moment, the idea of graduating from college wasn’t a big deal to me. I was frustrated with the entire process, and felt it was more or less what I was supposed to do to get where I wanted to be.

Then one of my friends, who graduated today, gave me some perspective and made me appreciate the great accomplishment graduating from college is. Shout out to the Howard graduates, and to those from Morgan State, Hofstra, Penn State, Amherst, Northwestern, Texas Southern, Prairie View, and the University of Houston.

Some of my friends who are graduating today or who have graduated already, have been through far worse than anything I’ve encountered. Suffered losses I can’t imagine, and tackled illness and other burdens that might have made weaker people give up. Plus, some schools try to hold you down, and that can be pressure enough in itself.

So with all of this sentimental crap in mind, I want to say congrats again to the Class of 2008 — especially to one graduate in particular. Smile…or try to not throw up. I’m extremely proud of all of my friends, and I wish everyone well.

As you know, I ain’t no punk bitch, so don’t go thinking I’m like sweet or anything.

Mind you that we’re in a recession, so as tempting as it is, avoid the ho stroll. Believe me, there are times I still think about buying some go get ‘um dunks, a freak’um tee and try my luck in basketball shorts and no inhibitions. But that’s not the way to live.

Blah, blah, blah, happy, happy. The end.

Gutta Love

If you’re into chicks that smile when you call them a bitch, would rather eat a #4 with a strawberry soda than some saddity restaurant like The Olive Garden, and don’t tolerate the bullshit, you’re in luck. Dallas’ own Traidmark has given you yet another song in celebration of a down ass chick. It’s called “Gotta Gutta Bitch.”

Ladies: Are you feeling all warm inside yet?

Just when you think there are already nine million songs on the exact same subject already out, somebody decides to drop nine million + one in case anyone has grown tired of all the other songs that repeat virtually the same lines. Why do so many people treat innovation like herpes?

For anyone that can’t listen right now, here’s a portion of the lyrics:

SASSY AND SHE CLASSY, FLY AND SHE FLASH IT
GUTTA, DATS MY GUTTA BITCH, BADD AND SHE NASTY
DONT BE BEEFIN WIT ME, SHE SAY YOU BEEFIN WIT HER
YOU SAY YOU BRAWLIN WITH ME, DEN SHE BE BEATIN YOU UP
PLUS SHE AINT SCARED OF NOTHIN,
RIDIN AND SHE BUSTIN, FIGHTIN AND WE FUSSIN BUT WE ENDIN UP FUCKIN
SHE GUTTA AND I LOVE HER, BREAK BREAD GOT HER COVERED,
THATS A BET LIKE A BROTHER, SAME SEX SAME COLOR,
SHE BADD AS SHE WANNA BE, AND THATS REAL TALK,
AND I CAN TELL YOU WHAT SHE GONNA BE, DOWN FOR HER NIGGA
MONEY OVER BITCHES, SHE GOT ME BREAKIN ALL THE RULES,
BALLIN OUT FOR HER ASS, MY NIGGAS TELL ME IMMA FOOL,
DONT TRIP, NOT AT ALL CUZ MONEY AINT A THANG,
SHE BREAKING BREAD TOO, AND HER FRIENDS SAY THE SAME,
PLUS SHE HATE SUCKIN DICK BUT SHE DO IT FOR ME,
EXPECTING NOTHING IN RETURN, BOA SHE REAL AS CAN BE

Alright, fess up: Which one of ya’ll is ready to toss out your birth control the second someone spits this to you at the Chinese food/BBQ/sandwich shop/pizza parlor/burger joint (this is all one place)? Wait, that snobs snobby. Add bank, revival, and library to that.

Judging from the comments on CHiNA’s imeem page, there are quite a few already.

Bunny said: “this song tite den a biitch.”

Mani wrote: “THIS MY SONG! MY GUTTA BITCH IS MY BOYFRIEND. LOL”

That’s some equal opportunity gutta bitchin’ right there, ya dig?

Tristian is geeked: “already Traidmark reppin that dtown, lone star state, home of tha gutta bitches!!!”

Homechick needs to speak for herself.

And SHUNT3I is so happy about the song, she’s speaking some new language: “Di$Z $HyT q0 HARD…….iiM $T3V3N B.K.A lil TRACy iiM Hii$Z qUTTA CHiCC 4lyF3”

I think my contact just popped out of my eye in disgust.

Well that’s their opinion, what’s yours? Personally, it doesn’t come with a dance, so I can’t really take it seriously. I think I’ll stick to Biggie’s take on this.

Juke Idol

I like Fantasia. She seems like a nice and genuine person. I was happy when she won American Idol, and I had hopes that she would manage to become a legitimate R&B star. She may not be a classic beauty, but her looks, personality and her voice are all unique, thus making her who she is – and that’s pretty beautiful in the grand scheme of things.

OK, whatever.

Having said that, what the hell is wrong with her? Perhaps I’m living under Fraggle Rock, but I forgot American Idol still came on, so I’ve been a little late in responding to this.

Since when did American Idol become Shug Avery’s Juke Joint? And just who exactly gave her the number to Big Red’s beautician? Whoever is responsible for sending Fantasia her way, I rebuke their SIM card. Oh, and the velvet ensemble: God be some cotton. That is not sessy, ‘Tasia. That’s the anti-sessy.

Alright, forget all of that superficial stuff, because I’m sure there are people out there who love both Koolaid and velvet and think Fantasia looks good. Let’s get to what really counts: her voice.

Why does she sound like that?

I’ve noticed from some of the responses around the internet(s) that some people actually enjoyed her performance, but I don’t know them like that to ask if they’re masochists. That’s a whole lot of screaming going on. I haven’t heard screaming like that since CPS tried to take some trifling’s mama’s child away. Whatever happened to the Fantasia who performed “Summertime” with such finesse? Did the Koolaid man who inspired that hairstyle eat her?

Fantasia is twirling around dancing like somebody’s frisky Aunt Girdy, and screaming like she’s on the set of Saw 18. No wonder Simon looked at her like she was crazy. This isn’t a preview of the future, is it?

Swagger Jacker of the Week: McDonalds

Can you tell the difference between these sandwiches?

The sandwich, which has a suggested retail price of $2.89, comes on plain steamed bun, with butter and two pickles as its sole condiments.

You shouldn’t be able to. It’s the same damn sandwich. No offense McDonalds, but can Chick-fil-A live?

McDonalds addition of the chicken sandwich and biscuits is a strategic move to challenge Chick-Fil-A.

Tony Raffa and Frank Phalen, two McDonalds franchisees in the greater Atlanta area, devised the Southern-style chicken breakfast menu. The two saw the need to compete with the dynasty of Atlanta-based Chick-fil-A, which boasted $2.64 billion in sales last year.

On top of that, they have the nerve to charge more than Chick-fil-A for their rip off.

Customers who buy a large or medium drink today at any McDonald’s in the United States can get a free, full-size Southern-style chicken biscuit or chicken sandwich. The company expects to give away 8 million sandwiches and biscuits in the sampling event, running from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Ya’ll have at it. As both a closet fat boy and loyal Chick-fil-A supporter, I cannot condone this swagger jacking. I’ll be going to Chick-fil-A tonight. Chicken sandwich on wheat with provolone cheese (Yes: I know I got it from you, Ban.). Probably another sandwich and/or some nuggets, too. Don’t judge me. Holla.

Dear Kim

Take a good long look at these pictures and ask yourself, “Why haven’t I started hanging out at NBA locker rooms?”

Seriously, Kim: Why haven’t you? Do you really want to keep going to the press championing the special love you and Diddy Puff share? I don’t hear Mase still talking about it, so why should you?

You seem like a very nice lady when you aren’t trying to nitpick at people who try to say you should move one from America’s one-man sperm bank.

Now on to Cassie. As you know, I think she’s very pretty, but I’m tired of very pretty people devoid of personality beat my eardrums into submission. She cannot sing. She cannot dance. She can’t even walk and maintain a level of interest from people. Maybe on the catwalk she’s alright, but I’m tired of models and/or strippers pretending to be entertainers. If you entertain Puff Puff Diddy, that’s cool. But that doesn’t mean we’re all getting the same treatment – as if some of us would even want it anyway.

I read that this chick gets an allowance. Really, though? An allowance? Back in my day (y’know, ‘80s baby) we called those chicks hoe strollers. Ok, you know what, that’s not right. They are two consenting adults and if they choose to hug up in public, good for them. If Poofy wants to trick his dough, that’s his business. Hey, at least he can afford to do it. Go ‘head Cassie for finding a personal piggy bank. Everyone could use one.

BUT: Just because he likes her doesn’t mean we have to. She has no talent. I mean, at least Total could hum a little and had dope material. What does Cassie have? A hot side-eye? Who cares.

All I’m saying is, Danity Kane better not miss their chance at scoring another platinum-selling album because this tone deaf chick who sings like a 12-year-old that just had her tonsils removed is the latest notch on Piffy Puff’s ever growing list of victims.

They have already gone gold, but the opportunity to go platinum is slipping as time passes by. Cassie couldn’t even go gold with her monster hit about blow jobs. It’s not right, ya’ll.