Fascists Rejoice!

We often to speak of liberty, but here’s an example of your elected leaders protecting our rights:

After months of wrangling, Democratic and Republican leaders in Congress struck a deal on Thursday to overhaul the rules on the government’s wiretapping powers and provide what amounts to legal immunity to the phone companies that took part in President Bush’s program of eavesdropping without warrants after the Sept. 11 attacks.

The deal, expanding the government’s powers to spy on terrorism suspects in some major respects, would strengthen the ability of intelligence officials to eavesdrop on foreign targets. It would also allow them to conduct emergency wiretaps without court orders on American targets for a week if it is determined that important national security information would otherwise be lost. If approved, as appears likely, the agreement would be the most significant revision of surveillance law in 30 years.

Why?

Just in the first three months of 2008, recent lobbyist disclosure statements reveal that AT&T spent $5.2 million in lobbyist fees (putting it well ahead of its 2007 pace, when it spent just over $17 million). In the first quarter of 2008, Verizon spent $4.8 million on lobbyist fees, while Comcast spent $2.6 million. So in the first three months of this year, those three telecoms — which would be among the biggest beneficiaries of telecom amnesty (right after the White House) — spent a combined total of almost $13 million on lobbyists. They’re on pace to spend more than $50 million on lobbying this year — just those three companies.

Figures. Bush willfully breaks the law, and instead of Congress standing a stand, they give him more power because they’d rather appease lobbyists than the people they represent.

We criticize other nations for violating the individual rights of its citizens yet our democratically elected leaders govern and legislate at the will of multinational corporations. In essence, it’s the same bullshit we accuse other people of doing, only in this country it’s packaged differently, and kept out of sight, out of mind purposely by the media. I mean, we have more important things to worry about than our phone conversations and internet activity being archived, right? Jamie Lynn Spears just had a baby, and Angelina is due soon!

Meanwhile, 36 years after Saddam Hussein nationalized the oil industry in Iraq, Exxon Mobile has finally made its way back into the country. Mission accomplished indeed.

Remember: Yes we can…with a check.

The Monsters From Under Your Bed Are Back

The horny Gremlins of R&B are back and I haven’t been this excited about a music act returning since Joey Lawrence tried another album.

It’s funny, because just a couple of hours ago I was driving and there was an old school mix running on the radio. They were playing Snow’s “Informer,” Skee-Lo’s “I Wish,” and some old Digable Planets. For a second, I remembered how much fun even the cheesiest offerings from the 90s were. And now, I see this video.

I like the nods to SWV, Jodeci, Aaliyah, Mary J. Blige, Xscape/En Vogue, and Salt ‘n Pepa. Then you actually listen to the song. These bugawolves have about as much talent as a pigeontoed bowlegged stripper. I was really hoping that when their lead screamer left the group, the rest of them would fade into oblivion.

But, judging from their new member and his ‘dance breakdown’ it might not take much longer. What was he supposed to be doing?

And So It Begins

I’m posting this for comedic reasons only. I could ramble on about how in no way is The Carter III is comparable to Ready To Die, Illmatic, and The Blueprint, but what’s the point? This is coming from Diddy Puff. Besides people tend to automatically equate sales with quality, so for next couple of weeks, months, and maybe even the next year to come, people will continue to swing from Lil Druggie’s sac like he invented syrup. It’s Wayne’s World…cup time, ya dig?

For those Wayne fans out there, let me know why The Carter III is a classic. I’m open to being taught something. So gon’ head. Expound. My eyes (at least one of them, damn stress twitch, are open to read).

For those of you who don’t drink Nyquil like it’s Kool-Aid, enjoy Puff Puff Diddy. Say what you will about the man (I know I do), but he’s a character. Never boring. I admire that.

A Milli

Wayne is officially the biggest rapper in the world. I have all 1,005,545 of you to thank for that. Come get your gift. It’s wrapped in fire. I keed, I keed. In this video, Weezy F. Rehab thanks his fans, then starts talking about old book drives like he’s eight-years-old. As usual, I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. I’m assuming maybe he’s joking, then again who am I kidding? His most cherished possession – a Styrofoam cup – is in the background, so you know how that goes.

Syrup works wonders. It also kills them. But you know what? Congrats to Wayne, and more importantly, shout out to his drug dealer. That’s who’s really celebrating.

Edit: So I just listened to the ‘A Milli’ remix (that was quick), maybe it’s just me, but whenever Wayne says, “Young Moolah, baby” I think of Gargamel (from The Smurfs). I bet that’s what Gargamel would sound like if he were crying. Carry on.

Pissy Moves Forward


Now that he’s gotten off, Zorro is moving forward with plans to promote his new album. Indeed, Superpiss has a contests for his fans. The 41-year-old singer/songwriter/pedophile wants to see some braids, ya’ll! The contest compliments his T-Pain swagger-jacking track first single, “Hairbraider.” If only he were braiding hair in a jail cell.

Upload your braided head and let Pissy’s flock of enablers rate you on the following scale:

Lookin’ like SPAGHETTI!
Super tight
Cornrows
Frizzy
Straight back wack

The hell? First, this fool is over 40 with braids. Secondly, he’s over 40 singing about his hairbraider. Third, who came up with this contest? It’s probably the same person who told Piper Piss that copying the Cowardly Lion’s hairstyle and using Mary’s Breakthrough braid was a good look for the video. The sad part is that I’m almost certain a bunch of people upload their pics.

Yet another reason why he should be pissing in a hole.

The Twitch

My eye won’t stop twitching. It’s been that way for two days now. They say it’s a sign of stress. As in fatigue — y’know, being tired…or sick and tired. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

I would call it a block, but at this point it’s more like a levee. I’ve been having a really hard time wrapping my mind about things to write about. That’s unusual for me. I read all day, and have an opinion on just about everything. But lately it’s been more and more of a struggle.

I feel drained. Really frustrated with the way things have gone. I can’t go into detail (that would be stupid of me), but I will say a few things.

Some Black institutions (be it educational and/or corporate entities) can push you to joining the Klan. I’m talking buying a pick-up truck, slapping a Confederate flag on the back of it, then taking a hammer and knocking one of your buck teeth out and turn into a real-life Uncle Ruckus. This doesn’t apply to all (I deal with a couple), but a significant number of them, which is a terrible average.

I am many things, but a professional still ranks among the top of the list. As you sow so shall you reap. I’ll leave it at that.

Another aspect of the twitch could be things not working out the way I planned, and opportunities (burgeoning on several now) that have slipped by. Such is life. You deal with it, move on, and keep changing your plan until you find one that works for you. Ok, I get that. And despite the tone of this post, I do believe I will be fine. But I want to be better than fine in the future, and to be honest, would rather be fine right now rathern than later. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, eh? I know, I know. I believe I can fly, too.

You can only read “you’re a great writer,” “you’re a good writer,” “you’re a strong writer,” “you’re an incredibly talented writer,” “you have so much potential to grow” accompanied by the ever-annoying “BUT” without become maybe a little jaded, no? They’re only making room for the right people to get it, huh?

Then there’s the notion of knowing when you’re being played, and the realization that in any other instance, you would immediately give the person playing you an instruction on how they can go fuck themselves. But alas, you have to grit your teeth, suck one up for the team. Or you find a sponsor – which I really hope would happen already. Are there any blog readers willing to trick and treat for your man? C’mon nah, don’t be shy. I won’t do anything for you, but hey, I’m good company. I send nice emails, too.

Humor. That’s my vice. It helps me deal when bad things happen. ‘Tis why I’m hilarious.

Alright, I’ve already exposed way too much. I know I’ll be fine, but I wanted to vent, and it’s my blog so why not use this medium to do so. I’m sure some of my friends are tired of me. I hope not, but I wouldn’t fault them. What can I say? I don’t believe in lying. It’s not an issue of if for me, it’s more like when and all that takes place between ‘when’ and now. If it helps, I’m still always encouraging of my friends even when I get tempted to go on a shaking spree. Now if only people of similar lineage could be as gracious. Mmph.

But speaking of encouragement, thanks to those that every so often, randomly tell me they love my shit and that I make their day or bring a smile to their face. It’s appreciated. Soon those words will come with a really pretty contract. But until that day, the hump fight moves forward.

This, twitch, though. It has to stop. It’s not actually noticeable, but it’s hella annoying. I feel like if it lasts any longer, my left eye is going to have a stroke and my new nickname will go from ‘Twitchy’ to ‘Wonkie.’

Not sexy.

Have a good day, people.

Fox News Hates Black People

Black women: Ya’ll are angry, at least according to Fox News. And we all know how credible they are, so tell me, what’s with all that rage? Bad perm? Did a curling iron attack you? Do you still not get that bitch and hoe are terms of endearment now? Really, what gives?

What makes you so angry? Is it racism? Sexism? Oh wait, ya’ll do have to deal with both, huh? I can only imagine. No wait, I can to a degree. Eh, that’s gotta suck.

But c’mon, you have Fox News anchors and commentators worried about you. I’m sure they’re truly trying to understand why taking Black slang and using it in an insulting manner might be upsetting to a Black woman (and men). Or why you would roll your neck at Bill O’Reilly when he expressed shock that a restaurant owned by a Black lady named Sylvia could be just like any other Manhattan restaurant, and that no one there was screaming, “M-Fer, I want some more iced tea.” (Yes, he really said that.)

Wait, why am I even entertaining these clowns? This is Fox News. If you want to talk anger, explain to me why so many of these wealthy white men are screaming at each other acting like Pablo, Kisha, Jammal, and Muhammad have access to their ATM card? Exactly what does a wealthy white man have to be mad about? They don’t use curling irons, do they?

Blah. Why doesn’t Fox News just release a press release declaring their disdain Black people and get it over with? That way, we don’t have to keep dissecting every instance of racist overtones in their coverage of colored folk?

A Milli Versions

I get it: “A Milli” is the new “In Da Club” in which everyone and their little brother (and sister) has to remake it.

Here’s a running list:

Cassidy
Fabolous
Lil Mama
Jadakiss
Papoose
Tyga
Uncle Murda
Gillie/ Peedie Crack
The Game
Jay-Z
Mims
Chris Brown
Reed Dollaz of Philly
Juice (Black Wall Street)
Willie Northpole (DTP)
Drake (Toronto)
K. Dot (Compton, CA)
Iceberg (Cash Money)
Cyssero (Former Black Wall Street Member)
Red Cafe
Rock City (Konvict Musik)

Half of these people I’ve never heard, and a good portion of the other half I hope to never hear from again. There’s also a version with some old Will Smith lyrics. I’m almost certain at least two would be rappers down the street, my Uncle, and the girl at McDonalds with the bad attitude have all recorded versions, too.

Yeah, it’s gotta stop. I will say, though, that Fab’s version is nice. Still, enough.

Any day now I’m expecting Barack Obama to drop one. I can already see Michelle dancing on stage to it.

Let Me Know

1. Do you believe Mashonda’s insinuation that Alicia Keys is a homewrecker?

2. Now that video has surfaced showing Amy Wino making racist jokes, are you waiting for a Black crackhead to beat her ass the next time she hits up the crackhouse?

3. Is that real hair I see or have the Koreans stepped their game up?

4. Sexy, right?

5. Ladies: Is her re-launched clothing line headed to your closet or back to Ross?

6. Jealous?

7. How much longer do we have to wait for her sophomore album?

8. Can TVT please free Teedra Moses?

9. Just how many more times is he going to tell us that he’s happily married and in love?

10. Is it his world now?

11. Or hers?

12. How does he manage to look fantastic one day, and like this the next?

13. Am I the only fool that can’t stop listening to Dream’s “I Luv Ur Girl?”

14. Is Keri Hilson the next big thing?

15. Is Girdy back to giving lap dances?

16. Though I love the new single, has John Legend sold out with his obvious attempts to go mainstream?

17. Who knew Huey Freeman was a real person?

18. How many more vocoder-enhanced songs are we going to get this year?

19. Who’s flier than Captain Rihanna?

Photobucket

20. Who do you want to tell that most to?

Sing-Off

Which ally cat brought it?

vs.

Peep the note at 2:32 in.

Or did Billy’s daughter bring it home?

vs.

I don’t know, ya’ll. That goat was gruffing hard.

Let me know your favorite. I should note that each one has actually improved.