Brush Alert

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As I’ve explained on several occasions, I harbor no prejudices against any particular racial or ethnic group. To the contrary: I hate everyone equally. OK, maybe I hate stupid people a little more than everyone else, but how can you not?

Anyway, since I just made clear that I’m not prejudice (like how most prejudice people preface ignorant comments, but I promise, I’m really not prejudice…I hate everybody the same way, I swear), this video featuring Harold Ford Jr. kind of reminds me of certain issues that arise with miscegenation. Look at Ford’s hair. Does he not look the fool on national television? They didn’t have a brush on set? I mean, I know it’s D.C., but c’mon it’s D.C.: One swing around the “wrong” corner and you’re bound to run into a store that sells Murrays, wave cups, and brushes.

I bet his wife – as lovely a woman as I bet she is – probably didn’t even know there was a problem with his hair. She probably thinks it always looks like that. To her credit, judging from Ford’s string of recent media appearances, she’s probably right in thinking that way. Still, as his wife, she needs to learn how to grease his scalp. It’s not like she has to worry about hers.

I wish I were in Tom Brokaw’s seat. I would make Fresh’s side-eye hall of fame.

If you’re wondering why I am focused on his hair and not what Ford is saying, it’s because I know Ford runs the DLC. Of course he agrees with Obama’s push to make it apparent that he is, was, and forever will be a centrist: He runs the DLC. If the DLC had a mascot, it would be some sort of weird donkey-elephant creature that walks the Earth begging you to vote for him because he’s just like Dumbo.

And for all that pandering, Ford still lost because of a racist ad. Meanwhile, Obama keeps a fresh shape up and that whole Scarlett Johansson e-mail story died faster than Guiliani’s campaign. Coincidence? I think not.

Now, somebody tie Ford up and put him in the barber’s chair. And don’t let him get that weird part. Acid-wash jeans might be coming back (sigh), but that part is staying in the 80s.

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