Bad Girl

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In case you were never convinced over the last 15 years despite a very concentrated effort, Janet Jackson likes sex. Really freaky sex. With whips and chains. Piercings. Probably a clown, too, if it’s into bondage and slick choreography.

Don’t worry: I’m not about to wail on her for her hyperactive vagina on stage routine — that’s about as old as the bit itself.

Actually, I want to continue on with a previous discussion of creepy ass songs with lyrics that scare you. When I saw this video, I was reminded of just how eerie the lyrics to “Discipline” were.

Something ain’t right about that family. Sometimes I wonder if some adult took their hand and went he-he-whooo right around some body parts they had no business touching, but that could be dead wrong. Still I have questions.

Why do so many of the Jackson clan members speak in a light whisper as if they’re still children versus their natural speaking voices? Does Michael Jackson really think we believe he had sex with a woman and produced two white babies? Why does LaToya walk around as if she’s Mattel’s version of Playboy Barbie? These are very legitimate concerns, particularly Michael and Janet walking around whispering on camera but sounding like screw on stage when they’re talking to the crowd.

Now back to Janet. With Michael sucking up so much of the concern from the public, I never really thought about Janet being thrown off (in comparison to her siblings), but then I heard “Discipline.”

Daddy I disobeyed you
Now I want you to come punish me

Doesn’t she realize we know the history of her father?

Babe I need some discipline tonight/Don’t hold back/I’ve been very bad
Make me cry
Oooo…
Got to make me cry
Oooo…

“Daddy make me cry?” That’s not S&M. That’s a cry for help.

When I first heard the song, I laughed at how ridiculous her voice sounded in the chorus, then I laughed even harder at how far she will go to proof that she has the biggest sex drive on Earth, only to ultimately feel like I needed a shower and prescription after listening to those lyrics again.

So tell me if I’m being prudish or do I need to start hoping that it’s never too late to call CPS.

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