I met Michelle Williams a couple of years ago interning at a radio station. She had the personality of a much larger person. As funny and witty as she is, though, I don’t think this solo career thing is going to pan out.
While I love my sister in skinny, when you’re built like Cruella Deville and you sing like Lily Pickles, chances are sales won’t be too high for you. The fact that her album only sold about 14,000 its opening week only makes it all the more obvious Mabel should hit up Careerbuilder.
When her label finally decides that Beyonce’s friends can only go so far with their money, what can Michelle do in the meantime?
I’m thinking she could:
1. Lead an expedition to find Kelly Rowland’s backbone. That should keep her busy.
2. Pray Catwoman gets a sequel. Then hope it’s a musical.
3. Become a crossing guard.
4. Host a radio show. Maybe Mabel in the Morning?
5. Take her mother, move down to Miami and share a house with a naive Midwesterner and a geriatric southern vixen.