I’ll Never Doubt You Again

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I have been a wayward stan lately. I didn’t instantly fall in love with “If I Were A Boy” and “Single Ladies” got boring after about three days. I was beginning to unite with the folks that said they have grown tired of Beyonce. I’ve since snapped out of that, though. Thank God. A lot of people ‘sick of Beyonce’ are still waiting for Arrested Development to reunite, or actually believe Brandy can make a comeback. Who wants to be on that side? Craig Mack and Tiny?

When I heard disc one of Beyonce’s new album, I almost fell into a coma. The second she announced she was doing a double album, I thought she was finally going to give me that soul album she promised. Yeah, “If I Were A Boy” is not soul and that’s the most soulful track of an otherwise vapid and underwhelming set of songs. Her voice sounds stronger than ever, but it’s not enough to prevent me from reaching for a pillow. The bulk of those tracks sound like they were snatched from Leona Lewis. I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m tired of so many R&B singers watering down their sound in an attempt to cross over.

Mary’s done it. Alicia did it the last go ’round. Chris Brown tried it with “Forever.” The only person who has done it and I encourage to keep at it is Rihanna. Everyone else either needs to stop trying to pass out folk rock, techno, and uber pop as R&B or ask to be stocked in another section.

While the first album hasn’t grown on me yet, it didn’t take long for me to get into Sasha. People have told me I tend to like the more ign’t, club ready songs. One person called me a bird. I resent that. I am not a rooster. It’s just that Beyonce was made for twirkin’.

See. Beyonce’s so bad she got the white girl breaking into convulsions live on stage. Between this and Beyonce deciding that it’s OK to have a personality again, I’m back in love.

When she went on tour last year, I decided that I was going to save my money. I had just graduated from college and I was looking for work. I thought I was being responsible. I will never be dumb enough to make a mistake like that again. I’m ready for the tour; I’ll just hit up food court when she decides to perform the slower songs.

I Am…Sasha Fierce may not be her best album, but as a performer, what else is out there? Don’t say Rihanna. That’s like comparing an IMAX feature to a bootleg.

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