! H@+3 !t

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I try my hardest not to be a word Nazi. Not only is such a person annoying, but you have to be almost perfect to get away with pretending to be captain of the Vocabulary and Grammar po-po. Still every person has their limits and I definitely have a few. There is nothing more irritating to me than a muthafucka that doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re.

Actually there is: There’s the jackass that will try to pop shit your way and can’t even use to, too, and two correctly. I swear one day I’m going to record a diss track against English teachers across the country. Or randomly bitch slap people with a copy of Hooked on Phonics. Whatever gets the most results.

I’m also not the type to correct people. There’s something really pretentious about it so I avoid doing it. The only time I will say something usually centers on “conversate.” If I love you I will pull you to the side and say, “It’s converse. Please never say ‘conversate’ again. Ever.” Now if I could give a less fuck about you I will let you walk around thinking “conversate” is a real word.

I may be the typo king at times, but you will never find me sending a text or email that looks something like: “It wuz gud conversatin wit u to, fam.” Jesus be a sore thumb or a keyboard killer. Even worse than that is what these kids (that may make me sound old, but I don’t want to be associated with that group) are now typing.

Y’know, L!k3 Thiiz nd 5h!t. Or TyP3 LyK3 DiS nd $h!T. If you are a member of the Soulja Boy generation, I somewhat understand and I say a prayer for you as often as possible. But there are people old enough to remember literate rappers who still TyP3 Lyk3 DA+.

What is wrong with them?

Th3y {\/}@d (ru3/_ @nd $h!t
!m (r@(k!n9 d@ f{}ck [_]p

I wish their keyboards would commit suicide.

I wear contacts. Are people trying to make me go blind deciphering that bullshit? I don’t know what dsylexic inspired this trend, but I want to end. But I know it won’t, which makes me so {\/}
@nd $h!t.

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