The Request Line

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Am I the only one who finds himself bombarded with these ASPCA commercials on a Saturday afternoon and left wondering what the hell is wrong with them and Sarah McLachlan? Don’t get me wrong, I am not an animal hater. In fact, I have swerved plenty a time on the road in order to avoid hitting Rocky, Bambi, Roger, Heathcliff, and Benji. And not just because I didn’t want to have to wipe blood off anyone’s car. No, I actually cared about the animals.

But then I see one of these commercials and I’m creeped the hell out. Isn’t it a bit odd to use a song like “Silent Night” to make a case for animal cruelty? The song is about the birth of infant Jesus and they’re using it incite guilt over strey dogs and cats. Doesn’t that seem a bit extra? It reminds me of the time PETA dared to compare animal cruelty to slavery. Not to knock anyone’s personal cause or anything but there are actual humans still suffering, aren’t they?

That being said, shouldn’t they go with a different song? I suppose the theme song to Scooby Doo, “Circle of Life,” or “Under The Sea” would be anti-climatic, but c’mon nah, “Silent Night, holy night, all is come, all is bright…round young poochie, kitten, and mice?” There has to be something else out there.

Am I making any sense or you hoping I get bit by a dog later in the day?

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