It’s OK To Stay In

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I don’t know where to begin. Is that what marriage does to you or is this simply a case of when not giving a fuck goes wrong?

Wait, let’s start off on a positive different note: At least she’s not wearing a lace front. I think that was the point of her roots making such a grand appearance, so I think it’s appropriate that we acknowledge they’re present.

Hi, Beyonce’s roots. Good to see you. It’s been a while. Were you humming “Breathe Again” in this picture?

There. That’s that.

I remember Beyonce mentioning something about her hair being natural. That’s great. Go you. Fight the perm. Where’s the comb, though, homie? Did you just wake up? Are were you and Jay doing newlywed things on the car ride there? What’s the problem?

Alright, moving on and moving down, there’s the thing about Beyonce’s choice of clothes. I’m not a fashion critic so I’m not about to pretend that I’m Andre Leon Tally. Having said that, what’s good with the old lady wear? She looks like she ought to be singing background for The Gap Band? That or a 90s era Vanessa Williams after a fight.

I’m not understanding. You’re Beyonce, and thus, you should be extra fly. Especially when you just put out a song talking about how hot you are.

This is not the best way to kick off the new year. Maybe she thought, I don’t know, it’s not my movie premiere. I understand, but if didn’t you want to go why didn’t you stay your ass at home?

I bet Rihanna is looking at that picture of Beyonce and singing to herself, “Ego so big, you must admit, I got every reason to feel like I’m that bitch.”

2009 is already looking like a struggle. C’mon nah, Bee. Don’t let Crisco Cheeks outdo you.

P.S. Let this be yet another post that proves I am not a bedazzled stan . I’ll admit when she looks, acts, or sounds like a damn fool. Mmph.

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