I’m Wired

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Oh how I have waited for this day. I heard “The Stanky Legg” several months ago, and like many of you who just watched the video my initial reaction was, “What the hell?” Probably not for the same reasons, though. Yes, I thought the song was stupid, but that didn’t bother me. What irked me about it was I felt I was too old to do it. And not only that, I felt as though I was too tall.

It really bothers me when you midgets out there make these dances with only other little people in mind. Tall people like to jig, too! I think this dance is a bit discriminatory towards people of higher heights, but I have decided to not let that hold me back. Dr. King taught me that, which is why my legs now stank with the rest of ya’ll. I’ve noticed that for some reason, I tend to do it better with one leg than the other. I don’t know what’s that about.

Anyhow, I knew it wouldn’t be long before this song spread all over the country. Little by little we’re all going to look the fool doing this awkward dance in the club, bar, and/or grocery store. Judging from some of the YouTube comments, there are many people none too thrilled about that.

Depending on who you ask, this dance is single handedly leading to the destruction of Black people. I get that shake that “whoop da dee doo” and dancing like you’re trying to wake your leg up isn’t exactly boosting brain cells, but it’s a silly dance all in fun. I don’t get the big deal. My niece stanky leggs and she consistently makes the honor roll.

Besides, some of our most acclaimed artists sang simple lines not that far from “do the stanky legg.”

For example:

“Shake your booty, your mighty booty, your lovely booty, your pretty booty.”

That’s from “Shake Your Body Down To The Ground.” OK, literally a second after I wrote that I suppose in hindsight, using a line like this from Michael Jackson may have not been the best way to go about it, but ya’ll get what I’m saying.

Besides, “The Stanky Legg” isn’t the problem, lack of balance is. Let some smart rappers come up with a respectable dance and then people can have options.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to get up and do this dance for the ninth time today.

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