Fatty
There’s a reason why a sizable portion of the American male population needs to start shopping at Lane Bryant for chest support, and why a number of asses make Hyundais look like toy cars. We are a greedy nation, and it’s about time that gluttony has been captured correctly online.
Meet one of my new favorite websites, This Is Why You’re Fat. Two bonus points for using you’re correctly.
There you will find heart-attack inducing creations like:
Chicken fried bacon with gravy.
Egg ‘n ham sammich.
Some half pound rib eye, hot link, bacon concoction. Let’s just call it Bypass Burger.
Fried cupcake.
Some crap with pudding, six sausage patties, burger patties, cheese, and God knows what else. They call it the Sandwich of Knowledge. I call it the Sandwich of Death. Go with my name. It’s a lot more clever.
There’s also a bacon wrapped meat loaf sandwich covered in mac ‘n cheese, a deep fried tootsie roll, and a bunch of other treats that will have you needing insulin faster than you can say, “Oh my God, give me an Advil…I think I’m having a heart attack” half-way through that Bypass Burger.
I would post more, but I think my heart rate has been through enough.
Before anyone – well you in particular – says it, I have to admit I used to be a terrible eater. If you’re familiar with Jack and the Box, you may know about the Extreme Sausage Sandwich: a double sausage patty with egg and cheese breakfast treat. I, however, never ate it with the egg. I showed restraint.
However, not enough, because I ate this every morning when I could, and would eat chicken strips with french fries for lunch, and then proceed to eat an Ultimate Cheeseburger with jumbo sized fries and a strawberry soda. For desert, I’d also order two tacos — dipped in grease.
That’s exactly why my ass was getting fat again, which is definitely why I no longer eat that crap.
Now if you’re looking at any of these pictures and thinking, “Mmm…sammich,” your ass is nasty. I know, I know: Judging you on your meal choices is wrong. Well, whatever, I’m not trying to sit next to your Hungry Hungry Hippo ass on the plane.
Eat a grilled turkey burger and some tortilla chips (multi-grain, preferably) and stop killing yourself.
we’re a nation full of fatties! isn’t gluttony (spell check?) one of the deadly sins?
blame the white man! lol
I completely admit that I love at least 2 things on that site- garbage plates (honestly, it’s a Roc thing- inexplicably delicious) and Chicago deep dish pizza, which I haven’t had in a few years, but wouldn’t turn my back on if it were in front of me right now. There is room for the occasional indulgence- a steady diet of this might make you look like the 33,000 calorie a day lady on TLC- but…every once in a blue moon is not gonna kill you.
eek..U shoulda put a pic of The Horeshoe on here! this ish is nasty even for me, and Im not exactly known as the type of woman who turns down good food. I still feel guilty about getting my Mexican corn, with the mayo, cheese, butter, and chili powder, but compared to his crap, that snack is a vision of health. Gawd these foods are of the Devil!
I ain’t even gonna lie, I’d tear that fried cupcake up!
i can’t front, there’s some things that i would try like the bacon donut and the deep fried twinkie dipped in chocolate sauce…mmmm…but that other shit (the romellete!! GTFOH!!)that is just straight up fat and NASTY!! no wonder the u.s. and england are the fattest nations in the world!!! jesus be some slimfast and a soybar!!
I keep telling you those Tortilla chips aren’t good for you either. Who gives a rat’s ass if it’s wheat.
You might as well go back to eating those 30 sausage patty breakfast sandwiches and them death inducing fish sandwiches from WaterBurger.
It’s so good to know that folks outside of Cali know about Jack in the Crack. I myself am a Big Cheeseburger, small fries and 2 ranch dressings kinda girl. That is, until I told my fiance I’d quit eating there b/c the food has transfat. That’s Cali for you. I don’t even know what the hell transfat is!
While what you said was true, it was too damn funny. You got me laughing out loud and people wondering what the hell is wrong with me!