Good News
Not that I ever believed her, but for several years now, Beyonce has been talking about wanting to retire at the age of 30 so she can settle down and have some big head babies. I tend to never believe artists when they talk about retiring, though for a second there I worried she might scale back after marrying Jigga. One kid alone could spread those hips wider than the Mississippi — and we all know our girl loves her some Popeyes. He done a put a ring on it, so the fear that after a two piece of chicken and kids she might up and decide at 29 1/2, “Let Rihanna have it” started to feel real.
Thankfully, Beyonce has come to realize retirement is for quitters.
She told Ebony: “I’ve worked so hard on my craft, and I will never stop. I will never retire. I love it way too much.”
That’s right. Don’t you ever leave me, Beyonce. I don’t know what it’s like to live in a world without Beyonce p-poppin’ all over it, but that is not a world I want to ever come to learn anyway. Not now. Not ever. Especially now that’s she’s back to wearing hair that’s not straight and blonde.
When she told me she wanted to record a soul album, I was so geeked. When I heard “Work It Out,” I fell in love. She looks amazing in this photo. I swear I would run barefoot down MLK to get her the Tuesday special at Popeyes — two piece for .89 cents. You know what? Fuck it. I would get her the family special. She’s that wonderful, which is why sometimes I get disappointed that she doesn’t live up to her full potential. I want the soul album she promised me.
Yesterday I was talking to a friend and Beyonce basher who claims I never say anything bad about her. If you read this blog, you know that’s not true at all. I’ve virtually handed her a muzzle, expressed disappointment in her stagmatism both musically and visually, so it’s not like I compliment every single thing she does. Me thinks this person doesn’t really think this, but I will say this: If you don’t like Beyonce even a little bit, something must be wrong with you.
There I’ve finally said it. I can understand why you may wish she go a little deeper, have a little more substance, or push herself harder, but how can you not like Beyonce at all? Seriously. If you don’t like her at all, what’s the matter? Have you been treated for this condition, and if so, what did the doctor prescribe? Better taste? I’m intrigued.
I’ve noticed online – typically from message boards – that Beyonce brings out the insecure little girl in people. Is she the best singer in the world? No. Is she the best dancer in the world? Nah, but I certainly appreciate a good twirker. Is the the best we have in the industry overall? Hell yeah.
She is leap and heads above her peers, and while I hate when people get accolades for being so good because everyone else is so bad, I don’t place Beyonce in that category. She would be killing it in any decade.
That is why I am so glad she has no plans of ever leaving me. I want us both to be getting it in our walkers until we’re over 100. If that thought makes you queasy, take a Tums. You’re not living right.
Stanism aside, how can you not find any redeemable qualities in Beyonce? Yes, she seems to be a part of Dr. Suess’ book club, and yeah she’s pretty vapid in most interviews. Alright, she acts like she molded and shaped the Earth herself some \times, but a lot of big artists can be described this way. I happen to think most celebrities are pretty boring in general. But as long as you can deliver at your job, I’m good.
Have you watched an awards show without her? I rest my case.
I’ve heard different theories about why so many can’t stand her. Some say you’re likely a loser, or you’re ugly…maybe a combination a both. When people grip about so many people fawning over her, it usually comes across as some petty high school jealousy. Hey, I ain’t have those issues, fam.
So, if you’re a hater for any other reason besides Beyonce stealing your stuff (which she seems to do on the regular), explain yourselves.
It’s not normal to not like her.
Taj
February 27, 2009 at 3:47 pm
LMAO.
I agree ^_^
While Beyonce might seem to have the depth of a thimble and the complexity of a game of jacks, she`s a great entertainer. I don`t like her for her “swag” (God I wish we`d retire that word), or for her intelligence (or lacktherof), or what she does for humanity. Can she sing? Hells yeah. Can she dance? HELLS yeah. Does she keep me remotely entertained and have the drive and ambition of a long lasting legend? HELLS YEAH! I respect her craft (although her last album left a lot to be desired, her vocals were intact) and that`s all that matters.
miko
February 27, 2009 at 5:58 pm
i respect what she does…but i’m just tired of her! if it weren’t for her ballads, i would HATE her! all that single ladies and put a ring on it and bootylicous is wack as hell!
but still, i’d wish she’s just go away for a sec…
i was so dissapointed to hear that she wasn’t retiring
iman
February 27, 2009 at 8:54 pm
womp womp miko lol. what i wanna know from ppl is if u dont like her who do you like? my friend says ashanti’s hot but cant stant beyonce—-WHAT??? thats not natural…
Jazz
February 28, 2009 at 11:59 am
She may be a great entertainer for some but the chick can’t act to save her life. Jesus be some acting lessons!
B.W.W.
February 28, 2009 at 7:42 pm
I appreciate her talent. She is wonderful at her craft and she will definitely be on the scene for a long time. My problem with her is the greed. She can’t stand for anyone to shine besides her. She bypasses union workers so she can pay people pennies on the dollar. Even before she was famous, her parents were ballin’ so she has no idea about the lives of most her fans who she peddles stolen music. She may not be educated but she knows the music business yet she came out and said she is sitting on her stacks when we all know that 1. famous people get stuff for free 2. she married a rapper worth over 500 mil 3. matthew knowles buys stuff for her out of her earnings. She was one the first artist to package an album for $20 then repackage it 2 months later with 2 extra songs and a video for $7 more. Shall I go on? Cause I can.
daniecal
March 1, 2009 at 12:15 am
Co-muthafreakin SIGN!
I understand not joining the stan club, but sometimes it seems like this is the “overachiever hate”-same thing happened to my sister at homecoming, even her “friends” voted against her becuz as they put it “she’s always winning awards”- but when folks claim to hate her for her “dirty” ways and “unoriginality”-then go and rattle off a list of “originals” like MJB, and Alicia Keys HA!-they get a big effin side eye from me!
hmph!-morals in the music industry? like lookin for saints in a whorehouse! and if they spent half as much time researching other folks everymove as they do hers, Im sure they’d be just as dismayed. I say unless u were part of the orignal phases of Girls Time and or Destinys Child part 1, 2, or 3-then u need to stop takin it so personal!
miko
March 2, 2009 at 1:18 pm
@ iman…
there are ALOT of other entertainers to like besides her. you and michael stan too hard for this chick! it’s ok for someone not to like her! she steals music, her acting makes me cringe and cry that she’s even still being offered roles! her greatest songs were ballads that other people wrote. she’s not the greatest! point blank period!
Anonymous
March 2, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I am not sure if you are going to get an soul cd from Beyonce. She can sing, but she has no soul.I am not a “hater” or a stan , but soul usually comes from pain, things you been through. She grew up rich.
Britt
March 2, 2009 at 10:55 pm
I don’t know what it’s like to live in a world without Beyonce p-poppin’ all over it, but that is not a world I want to ever come to learn anyway. Amen.
~ Proud Destiny’s Child Fan Club Member 1998-2000
Anonymous
March 3, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I agree with that Tak said. What I CANNOT stand are the stans.. that actually turned me off of dicussing her for a while ( I know she isn’t at fault for that). The stanism has got to stop, as great as I think she is, she isn’t the be all and end all of music. Geez, I can’t stand reading disserations on something as simple as why she claims she isn’t weave this go around. Which is a lie by the way.
~G
Anonymous
March 4, 2009 at 8:31 am
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