If you’re from Texas and you didn’t tell me about these dances, shame on you. If I know you personally and you’re from Texas and read this blog, I ought to curse your ass out. Well, maybe not, but get on video chat so I can give you the side-eye or something.
Though the stanky legg is just now catching on nationwide, I’ve already learned two new dances as of last night. They are called the Ricky Bobby and the Halle Berry, respectively.
Why is it called the Ricky Bobby? I haven’t a clue. I thought of New Edition, but that’s apparently not it because the dance does not involve bitterness, drugs, or alcohol.
It’s another Dallas dance, so don’t even try to clown Houston, though to be fair, we’d come up with something just as retarded yet entertaining. You know what, even as I type, I’m still disappointed folks didn’t tell me about this dance. This has been out since last fall. I mean, how could my people let this get past me?
I mean, even white folk knew about it. That’s not fair. I know Barack Obama told us we’re all one people, but Zora Neale Hurston said “all my skinfolk ain’ t kinfolk,” and a couple of ya’ll are looking really unfamiliar right now. Don’t let it happen again.
Even he knew about it. Now, I don’t know what box to check him under, but he ain’t Black and he knew about this dance before me. I believe in equal opportunity coonin’, but c’mon nah, don’t let me get behind.
Thankfully, I was somewhat informed about the Halle Berry. My mama called me one day asking me what the hell it was. At the time I didn’t know, but thankfully my brother called me yesterday and let me know that it, along with the Ricky Bobby were new dances.
Here’s the Halle Berry.
I know someone’s going to come in here and say “that looks gay.” Here’s what Kanye West had to say about using the word gay with a negative connotation:
Titles are very important. I like to embody titles, y’know, or words that have negative connotations, and explain why that’s good. Take the word gay — like, in hip-hop, that’s a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I’ve encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y’know, I haven’t, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person — the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design — it’d be really dope.
I’m sure someone’s itching to post, “Well…he gay” in the comments section. No he is not. He may sometimes dress like a gay prostitute from the 80s, but that doesn’t mean he’s gay. The only man Kanye could ever love is himself so take what he’s saying to heart. Granted, the Halle Berry isn’t exactly art, but I like the song dammit and that’s all that matters.
Then again:
This dance does look like something a project AKA would do. I don’t know, after seeing someone smaller with more room to do it I might stick to the Ricky Bobby. While the song doesn’t bother me any, FYI, if you’re a dude trying to holla at a chick and do the Halle Berry in front of her, me thinks she may do the Jackie Joyner Kersee in response. Good luck with that.
It’s so ign’t and catchy. I kinda love it just because I like yelling, “Halllleeeee Berrrry.” I am a southern boy through and through. It’s going to be so much fun watching all of the bugawolves and mudducks walk around talking about, “HALLLEEEEE BERRY” as if they look anything like her in the club.
“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writing under my name are frauds.”
1. Is it safe to say Chris Brown may have stepped on Rihanna’s toe on purpose now?
2. When will a pair of clippers find the back of his head?
3. Who else is intrigued about J.Holiday’s sophomore album?
4. Which one doesn’t look like they want to be there?
5. Why do I get the feeling Stevie Wonder would perform at the opening of an EZ Pay Loan store if he knew the check would clear?
6. So Harlem Heights is basically Baldwin Hills for grown ups, right?
7. While I respect her choice to not shave her legs, shouldn’t Mo’nique keeps those two grizzly bears in their cage?
8. Now that she’s joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars, can we officially say Lil’ Kim is over?
9. When is someone going to sit Bow Wow and Soulja Boy take away their ‘net privileges and sit them in time out so we don’t have to be bothered by their bitch beef?
10. Can the same be done for 50 and Officer Ross?
11. What the hell are a booty do and whoop da dee do?
12. Is there someone really selling a font based on Barack Obama’s handwriting?
13. Shouldn’t he be selling a Lexus?
14. No really, what’s Teyana Taylor’s purpose?
15. Was anyone else surprised that Alicia Keys was having an affair…with a man?
16. What ya’ll think of Angie’s freakum dress?
17. If you were Ashanti, would you sue your hairdresser?
18. Is this Rihanna in 70 years?
19. What did Kelly Clarkson have to eat last night? Ruben Studdard?
20. Can someone stop my dick from committing suicide?
While I still wouldn’t be mad if I found out Rihanna and her Bajan brethren either put a root on Chris Brown or at least jumped him, I don’t think it’s fair that his music has already been banned from certain radio stations. I mean, if you’re going to ban his music, do it for the right reasons: Most of it sucks. Yeah, he has a few songs here and there I like, but for the most part, I’ve never been able to get over the fact that he sings like his balls don’t hang, so it’s been hard for me to take him seriously. Plus, I grew up a Jodeci fan, not really a Boyz II Men one. Much like Boyz II Men, though I find him overall to be a nice guy, Chris Brown is packaged a little too clean cut for my liking. No, those etch a sketch tats of his didn’t sway me much.
I’ve read about how a band of Chris Brown stans have joined together to fight the power and save him on radio. It’s cute in a don’t you lil’ fast ass kids have some homework to do sort of way, but mobilization is mobilization. Yes they can, ya’ll!
Though at this point it’s kind of hard to refute the fact that Chris Brown hit Rihanna, he hasn’t been formally charged let alone convicted, so is it right to blacklist him already? I vote no, and while I won’t be requesting any of his songs, it’s not fair to turn away those that still want to. Besides, where was all of this outrage when R. Kelly videotaped himself pissing on a 14-year-old girl and treating her ass like a cupcake? T.I. has been convicted of carrying enough arsenal to invade Iraq in his closet, yet I can’t stop hearing all 19 of his singles on the radio.
While Michael Jackson may have been cleared of playing “Touch My Body” with the little sick boy with the scamming mother, he’s certainly guilty of transforming himself from a Black man to someone resembling the dead older sister of an elderly white woman. My mom and many Black folk will never forgive him for that. Although he was convicted on sketchy sexual abuse charges, 2 Pac wasn’t exactly a friend to women yet many a female swear by him.
Then there’s Marvin Gaye, who was rumored to have loved the kids a little too much. Of course, most rappers in general take their crimes and employ them as a promotional tool. In fact, some of the very attitudes that contribute to domestic violence are still championed largely by society overall but I don’t see folks asking to ban all of the dumb programming out there. Has there been a referendum on referring to undershirts as ‘wife beaters?’ Right.
Sometimes it’s really hard for me to separate the person from their music. I like to think that in most cases what you sing is an extension of who you are. Even if you’re the invention of other people, the fact that you allow yourself to be says a lot about you as a person. So when I found out a person may be an abuser, a rapist, or some sort of other type of criminal, I do have to take a second look at them. Sometimes I can overlook it, and then there are times when I can’t.
Personally, I’ll never buy another R. Kelly album again. I did buy the Chocolate Factory and I felt guilty about it soon after. He already had my money, but I ended up tossing it the album away. This happened after I learned more about this Pied Piper character and it dawned on me that this idiot was throwing his disease in all of our faces and I felt like an even bigger idiot for supporting him.
Not supporting him anymore is aided by the fact his music now more than Karrine at Wayne’s house, but even if it were good, I can’t give him my money. That’s simply a personal choice. But then there are times when I hear his old music, and I can’t help but get into it.
I remember once that I had just finished baking some wings and was tearing them up. Then I walked back into my room and there was some video countdown on BET. “You Remind Me Of Something” came on and I literally held the plate in one hand, ate the wing in the other, then proceeded to twirk to my favorite part of the song: Y’know, “I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it…is all I wanna do, for ya baby.” All at the same time.
Sidenote: I may seriously have to put such talents to good use soon. Damn you, recession! Damn you.
After I got back up off the ground (shut up — don’t judge me), I had felt like I pissed on the girl myself. Ultimately, I had to learn that I can’t project their guilt and wrongdoing onto me. No, you won’t find me buying anything of R. Kelly that’s come out since the trial, but you may find me singing “Bump N Grind” on occasion, though maybe not as loud. I feel the same way about Chris Brown and his fans. Should they go and break all of their albums? If they want to. Should we look at them differently if they opt not to despite what he’s charged with? I don’t think so.
Ike Turner will forever be known as the man who beat down Tina Brown, not the guy who practically created rock ‘n roll. In a lot of ways, that’s karma, but look at Reverend Grits. Isn’t it funny how Al Green of all people replaced a guy who bailed out of a performance for allegedly abusing his girlfriend? We’ve allowed him a second chance. Why not Piss Brown?
For some odd reason, some people tend to think that just because you’re a blogger, you have some sort of connect to a bunch of record industry people. FYI, I don’t, and besides everyone I’ve met in the record industry didn’t seem to like me too much. Well, not me, so much as my opinions. Once I got the “oh shit” face from Jay Brown when I was at some forum as a part of this scholarship program and I said I wanted to be like the male Wendy Williams (this was like five years ago, don’t judge me). Another time I was at an internship and some guy was asking me what I thought about Ashanti and though I can’t remember what I said verbatim, I do remember the look the guy shot me: It was one of those, I ought to stab your Black ass with a butter knife faces. Turns out he worked for Def Scam (kidding, ya’ll) and since it was the summer of Bey, I imagine he was already a little testy. There have been others since then, but look the acts they were reppin’ were wack, and maybe if they had given my opinions some thought the recording industry wouldn’t be trying to sell albums with deodorant now.
Anyway, like I said, I don’t have record label connects, so whoever put me on some email list, ya’ll can take me off. I usually just mark you as spam and keep it moving. If I did have some connects, I’d most certainly put them to good use for my friend Elle B.
Before you ask, yes I know her personally, but even if I didn’t I would stan for her all the same. She fills my two greatest requirements for R&B chanteuses these days: She can actually sing without the benefit of software and she can read.
I met her through the aforementioned scholarship program though I sometimes forget that because we have been friends for so long our friendship just seems fo far removed from that. We instantly clicked when we met and she’s one of my favorite people ever. I tend to feel inferior speaking to her as she is incredibly brilliant, and I am in awe of her talent and passion. I adore her, and I pray that she is met with the success she deserves.
Now, to my point: If you’re in LA area and you are not using your tax refund (or loan — when will we learn?) to go to Phoenix for the weekend, I invite you to check out Elle B. perform this weekend at The Dakota (formerly the Temple Bar). The address is 1026 Wilshire Blvd. and it’s in Santa Monica. Don’t ask me for directions, just Google it, baby.
The show starts at 8:30 and the cover is $10. Yes, even I’m paying because I love her that much. I know that’s five bottles of 2 buck chuck at Trader Joe’s, but that’s OK, I still got a bottle somewhere ’round these parts.
Boogie is opening for Jive recording artist Miguel, who coincidentally, the homie Yasmine put me on to a few weeks ago. I like his song “Sure Thing.” You can visit his MySpace page here.
And after that (or before, really, but as long as you go), you can check out Elle B. MySpace page here.
Oh, here’s the preview video she put up:
Support her! If you’re not in LA, at least check out her music. OK, I’m done street teaming it. Love her, though, so she’s worth it!
P.S. If you’re wondering what that diatribe in the beginning is about, I wanted to kill two birds with one stone. Stop emailing me about Amerie! I bought her last two albums, dammit.
As you all know, gay people are the worst inhabitants of the Earth. Far more evil than terrorists, twice as annoying as bill collectors, and three times the sexual deviant as a prostitute, homos are to be feared, hated, and most of all, disrespected. Anyone who dares to show compassion or even worse, acceptance, of their wretched lifestyle must be rebuked.
Enter Kanye West, who has the nerve to treat someone different from him as a human being.
What the fuck? Did he just say gay people aren’t aliens? He must be doing the booty do with John Legend.
Of course, since Kanye West has decided to treat gay people like, I don’t know, people, the responses under the video were typical:
tdot kanye is a bottimon
this nigga keep talkin bout gay people,i think kiara fat
Kanye is a fuckin fag!
KANGAY
THIS NIGGA GAY TALKIN BOUT HE GANGBANGED YEAH HE GOT GANGBANGED WIT THAT PINK AS WATCH ON
Fuck the gays kanye, I know for a fact u aint gay, but your too much of a nice nigga.
NIGGA BRING DAT GAY SHIT MY WAY I”M SHOOTIN KANYE U FUCKIN FAGGG IF ITS NOT WHITE PPL DEN ITS GAY PPL I HATE EM
A couple of thoughts:
1. Is bottimon the same as batty boy? 2. Who is Kiara? 3. Dude could have done better than Kangay, right? 4. Actually, I don’t believe Kanye gangbanged anything either. 5. @ that last comment: This is why you shouldn’t drink when you’re pregnant. Red wine is OK, not red wine coolers or strawberry margaritas, fam.
I know 50 Cent, Sandra Rose, and a couple of other people are leading the charge, but I don’t think Kanye West is gay. Does he spaz out like he owns his very own tiara? Yes, though that not a homo make. Tell you the truth, there are a bunch of big burly ass dudes that have sex with women every day they can that throw tantrums and bitch fits like little girls. We don’t call them gay so why do we automatically assume Kanye is? Because he dresses better?
Some days I can’t stand Kanye, but that can probably be attributed to me falling for what he’s selling at any given moment. He says outlandish things for attention. It works. At the same time, when you see videos like this it reminds me that he’s very much different from most rappers out there and that his point of view is something that ought to be presented more often into public forum.
He’s the only male celebrity I can think of that’s said something remotely close to anything that’s anti-domestic violence, and the fact that he’s secure enough in his manhood to say gay people are no threat to him proves he’s far more progressive than half of the homophobic female bashing rappers who constantly tell another man to suck their dick on wax.
Most rappers hate women, and thus, they hate gay men, due to the unfortunate belief that homosexuality and feminity are one in the same. As I’ve gotten older I’ve found that strangely ironic considering for every stereotype these rappers throw out about gay men, they tend to fit themselves. Take their obsession with jewelry, or being greased out like a piece of meat on their album covers, always surrounding themselves by a big group of men. All that shit is gay.
And for everyone’s jokes about Kanye’s style (which I’m not exactly a fan of either, but hey, it’s not me and my money, who cares), why do so many rappers know so much about women’s shoes? It’s like half of them are channeling Al Bundy something serious with their vast knowledge of designer stilettos. They also know about handbags — usually more than my own mama. The past two years far too many hip hop and R&B hits from men have sounded like jingles written my Macys and Saks.
A lot of mainstream hip hop is largely some extended mix of the “Do The Homie” dance from The Boondocks. Yet the minute someone steps outside of that linear view of how a Black man should behave, they’re the gay ones. It’s hypocritical, it’s stupid, it reminds me that some people need to read more.
‘Ye may be a mama’s boy, but I get the feeling he’s far more into sucking some girl’s titty than he is some dude’s peen. I’m not certain the same can be said for half of hip hop, nor for half the clowns hiding behind a computer screen typing the word faggot.
I want people to stop saying, “If he really beat her that bad, then the DA wouldn’t have kicked back the case.”
Bad News Brown is currently under investigation for making criminal threats, i.e. threatening to kill Rihanna. The reason why it’s criminal threats versus domestic battery is because the latter charge doesn’t carry as severe a penalty as the other. And even if it didn’t “beat her that bad,” the fact that you have to toss in the words “that bad” suggests it’s bad no matter how you flip it.
He hit her. He left her. I don’t really care if I don’t know everything. I’ve never pretended to be in the car with them filming anyway. But I’ve read enough to know he hit her and he left. And call it a hunch, but in domestic abuse cases, it’s usually not the first time — especially if you’re knocking someone down in a car and leaving them on the side of the road.
FYI:
Sources say the Los Angeles County District Attorney kicked the case back to the police for further investigation because evidence that he made criminal threats against Rihanna is kind of thin. Our sources are quick to say he will, however, almost certainly be charged with felony domestic battery, a lesser offense but still serious.
Here’s how it went down, according to the police report. After Chris received a text message from a woman who wrote about getting together, an argument erupted. By the way, initially, Rihanna would not tell cops what started the argument.
She did, however, tell them that during the argument, he started hitting her. According to the police report, she ordered him to drive her home and “faked a call” to someone, saying things like, “He’s dropping me off. Make sure the cops are there.”
Rihanna told cops the fake call enraged Brown. He said something to the effect of “You are really fu**ed up now. I’m going to kill you.” This statement is the basis of the criminal threats charge.
At that point, according to the report, Brown allegedly began a violent attack with his fists. At some point, Rihanna took the keys out of the ignition and threw them outside.
And there’s this. According to the police report, she told cops this was not the first time Brown hit her. She referred to it as an ongoing and escalating abusive relationship.
Now for that “not so bad part:”
Given the brutal nature of the attack, which the photos clearly show — contusions on the face, swollen eyes, cut lip, bloody nose, bite marks on fingers and arm — a felony domestic battery charge is virtually a done deal. That, however, is a less serious offense than making criminal threats.
In short, they know he hit her, they’re just not sure if they can prove he really meant he’ll kill her. It has nothing to do with the severity of the abuse; it’s the intent of his threats. It’s only a matter of time before the police report hits The Smoking Gun.
I have very low tolerance for domestic violence, so while I do think it’s wrong for the media to act as if Chris Brown beat her to a bloody pulp, then the ER had to come down and resuscitate her on sight and bring in a pastor to beg God to please keep her on Earth until she finishes her fourth album, insinuating that things aren’t as bad as they seem lacks the same amount of credibility as these purported exaggerations.
He hasn’t been charged yet, so you’re innocent until proven guilty (in theory anyway), but I’m inclined to think less people would be so willing to defend him (or “not defend him but…” as some would call it) if he weren’t a pretty boy pop star with hits under his belt.
I am not the most politically correct person, but I do believe that some things are not appropriate to joke about and domestic violence tops that list. I’ve almost been as upset to the reaction of the story of Chris Brown beating up Rihanna as the allegation itself.
This is not funny. If anything, it’s yet another reason why some people need to have their reproductive rights revoked. How cruel and insulting can a person be?
Even worse than these two jackasses’ “parody” are the people so quick to blame Rihanna for the whole incident.
Since word of this first leaked I’ve constantly read comments about how “she probably caused it.” How she “likely set him off.” How some women “know how to push a man’s buttons.” How “island women are crazy.” And on. And on. And on. The irony of it all is I’ve found most of the people defending Chris Brown to be women. For the life of me, I’ll never understand how some women can blindly defend a man who beats down a woman.
I realize that in some instances it could very well be unavoidable, but as more information leaks it’s becoming painfully obvious that he did a number on her and at 6’1 and 200 pounds, I don’t think Chris Brown had much to fear from Rihanna.
No woman deserves to be beaten in that manner from a man. For any woman that thinks so, I feel sorry for you. Patriarchy abused your better logic.
When I first heard about this, that was my reaction: Lock him up and may his career evaporate. I didn’t care if his new best friends in jail turned on “Run It” and did just that to him, I felt he had it coming. In some ways, I still he needs to be put on his back, but a friend cautioned me that wishing death to his career wasn’t fair. Honestly, he had a point. Some people do change and in his case, I hope he learns from this. Apparently, this isn’t the first time he has been accused of not knowing how to treat a woman, so maybe he’ll finally learn how to control his temper now that he’s losing money. That’s usually the greatest motivator in people.
But judging from the responses of some people, all Chris needs is one good publicist and a cry on Tyra or Oprah’s couch and he’s back on top. The way some people tell it, you would think he was the victim.
“I spoke to him today,” Tip said. “He’s cool, you know. He’s a little concerned about the situation, but he’s still the same Chris.” Tip said despite conversing with Brown, he still didn’t know what had happened, but he offered advice to the singer. “I told him, ‘This too shall pass.’ We’re celebrities, we’re entertainers, but we’re still human — all of us,” he said. “Don’t expect us not to make mistakes, because we will.”
If you went by this fake ass G.I. Joe’s comments, you would think Rihanna stuck an umbrella down Chris Brown’s throat. One would hope he’d be inclined to say something nice towards both of them – especially when you consider Rihanna lent her vocals to the song that won’t go away, “Life Ya Life.” But some men stick together no matter how wrong the other one may be.
Edit: Nevermind. T.I. retracted his statement saying he should have waited to learn about the entire situation before commenting. I guess someone reminded him of the spins he got from Rihanna and/or mentioned he finds out when he’s locked up soon.
Then you have this baby wipe addict clown Terrence Howard chiming in with:
“It’s just life man,” Howard said of the situation. “Chris is a great guy. He’ll be all right. Rihanna knows he loves her. They’ll be alright. Everyone has just got to get out of their way.”
That’s along the lines of, “Baby you know I love you, I’ll never do it again.” Suck a dick and choke, bitch.
Edit: Soft and smooth has backtracked, too, telling ET: “When they asked me about Chris Brown the other day, I was in no way aware of what he had been accused of. Had I know, I would have never said something so insensitive.”
Uh huh.
And one of the biggest idiots of them all Soulja Boy says:
“I hope everything works out with my homeboy Chris.. I was just with him the night before the incident talking about his new album and just kickin it. I hope everything works out for the best! Chris hold it down homie, you know how the media gets!!”
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Judging from his speech, he’s been abused all his life.
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank God again for Kanye West.
I feel like, just as a person, I don’t care how famous she is, or even if she worked at McDonald’s, that should have never happened. It should have never come to that place.”
Minus that whole bit about Rihanna having the potential to be the greatest artist ever, this is exactly what needs to be said considering people don’t take domestic violence seriously. I think what gets me about this whole deal is that Chris Brown once told Giant that he grew up terrified and defenseless because he couldn’t defend his mother from his step-father.
I grew up hating my father for a number of reasons, but without straying too deep into my personal live, I’ll say that how to treat my mother was the main reason. I grew up wanting to kill his ass. There, I said it. And the only thing that terrified me more about what may happen to my family was that I may grow up to be exactly like him.
Like Chris, there is a history of stupidity in my family. At one point as a child I thought to never get married because I had such a fear that I would become that person and I never wanted to mistreat anyone in that way so at the time, I thought it would be better to be alone rather than put someone at risk.
Over time, I realize that didn’t have to be so long as I made the effort not to repeat his mistakes. To try and be a better person and deal with problems before I become the very person I despised. I’m not nearly as far along as I’d like to be, but I’m making the effort. I hope Chris ultimately chooses to do the same. I wouldn’t be mad if Rihanna threw dishes at his skull, but blacklisting him from music may likely only make him angrier.
I used to get into a lot fights. Most of which were due to people trying to test me, but there were instances where I started it out of frustration over something going on at home. I usually got a pass (say not suspended as long as I could’ve been), because I had a good reputation as a nice dude and a good student (don’t suck your teeth at me — I am nice and shit). I had always been raised to never duck a fight especially if a person hits you.
Everytime that happened to me I fought back. There was one time, though, where I thought not to. At the time, I was still short and chubby, and this Lady of Rage looking bitch hit me. And when I say hit me, I don’t mean she slapped — she hit me like a dude. All over some damn notebook paper. Before you even ask, yes, my high school was hood. Call it Child Left Behind High. Anyhow, when she hit me, I said, “I’m not going to hit you back.” There were dudes yelling, “You gon’ let that bitch punk you like that?” But I just couldn’t so I stood there. Then she swung at me again and I lost it. She was bigger and much taller than me, but I ended up grabbing her by the cheap weave pony tail you can now find at most gas stations on MLK and started tagging her like every other dude that swung on me before her.
I got sent to another classroom as I waited for my teacher to call the principal, student po-po and what not. The entire time I put my head down feeling so horrible. I felt low. Like I had just become the person I never wanted to be. When a girl from the class came to get me, I thought she was about to let me have it. You know, “You’re a boy, how could you beat up on a girl?” Actually she said with excitement: “Damn, you beat that bitches ass.” Then her ass dabbed me up. She didn’t help.
It wasn’t until I got home to tell my mom and sister what had happened did I feel better. I was waiting for both of them to light into me. They didn’t. My mom explained to me that given the situation, I defended myself. To give myself some credit, I didn’t try to stomp her when we both hit the ground (look, she was a big bitch, we were knocking desks over), but I still felt horrible. It was only after my mom said what I did doesn’t make me anyone but a person who had to defend himself.
I write all of this to say I don’t know what exactly happened, and I can’t be too self-righteous because I was in the placed in the position where I had to make a choice: Let a girl try and beat me down or defend myself. Judging from what’s leaked so far, my situation sounds completely different from Chris Brown’s but I put it out there all the same. I can’t act like I’ve never hit a woman when I have. I’ve never done it again and I don’t ever plan to again.
Whatever caused Chris Brown to do what they say he did to Rihanna, I hope he learns to handle better in the future. I haven’t been in a fight since that girl.
I often wonder do companies that benefit from the free advertising rappers often provide them say out loud, “Oh…silly niggers. Freebies are for fools.”
If not, I’m thinking it for them. Call it a hunch, but I don’t think Ralph Lauren would approve of this. Then again, in these tough times, I’m sure he won’t mind if his sales benefit from this glorified jingle. And yes, I’m serious when I say jingle. The chorus goes: “P-O-L-O, all I wear is Polo. I stay fresh…hell yeah, shawty, ye ain’t know.” That’s the ign’t equivalent of “Double your pleasure, double your fun.”
Of course, I couldn’t make that out in the video above. I’m fluent in southern, but my knowledge can only go so far. This bullshit sounds like if slaves went shopping. Before you even ask, yes I do like my ignorant songs, but this isn’t one of them. There’s no dance to go along with their song, and even if there was, I don’t think I could fool with it.
I have a thing about songs that aid people that don’t want our attention as it is. This reminds me of T.I. having to fall back on his “Swig Your Rag” video after Louie Vuitton and Gucci joined forces to shut him down citing copyright infringement. Here’s a thought, rappers: If these companies wanted your endorsement, they would pay for it.
Now if by chance, you happen to like this song and want to hear an audible version of it, you can click here and head over to their MySpace page. Yes, I’m going to judge you, but only a little bit since I’m about to get up and do the stanky legg one more time before bed. As for Jay and Dre City, the makers behind this unsolicited Ralph Lauren spot, after “Polo” finishes playing there’s a song about hustling and being a gangsta. As you know, gangsters love rhyming about fashion and what’s scarier than a Black man beating down the block in a button down?
I can describe my thoughts of this year’s Grammys in four words: Fuck you, Chris Brown. The show was already likely to suck after I found out Beyonce wasn’t added to the performance lineup. Then he had to go and take away two of the very people who might have added even the smallest minuscule of umph necessary to keep me from passing out of sheer boredom from this show: Him and his girlfriend.
Seek help you hyperactive jack ass.
When the Grammys started I was busy working out in my room trying to up my sessy. It’s 2009, ya’ll. I got to get my body right just incase I’ll have to use it to keep my bank account right. It’s not a game. Though I definitely push upped and sat upped while the show was on, I know boring when I see it. That’s why the second I saw Al Green, Justin Timberlake, and an extra large version of Boyz II Men (looks like Wanye ate the fourth member) I had to put the TV on mute and turn on “The Stanky Legg.”
I guess you can figure out that I wasn’t exactly glued to the show thereafter. But, I can’t go without talking about this bore fest completely (I mean, I sat through it so I might as well say something), so I decided to cover the remainder of the show in question form.
1. Was I supposed to be excited that Jay-Z came out of nowhere in the middle of the Coldplay performance?
2. Was M.I.A. trying to induce labor by jumping up and down on stage like that?
3. What was the deal with Kanye West’s jacket?
4. Was that shit made out of foil?
5. Why is he trying to bring that hairstyle back?
6. Is T.I. ever going to jail?
7. Though I think Estelle is cool, how did she get to perform at the Grammys but not Jazmine Sullivan?
8. Has anyone actually heard the song that won Record and Album of the Year?
9. What the hell was that Jonas Brothers/Stevie Wonder duet?
10. Does Stevie just say yes to anything?
11. Isn’t it time for him to let those braids go already?
12. The producers of this show just randomly pull names out of hat and pair them together on stage, don’t they?
13. Why did Justin get to perform twice?
14. Who got up and did something else when Neil Diamond hit the stage?
15. Didn’t this feel like one of the longest award shows ever?
16. Alicia Keys got an award for a vocal performance. Why?
17. Does anyone else not give a damn that Katy Perry kissed a girl and liked it?
A stunning-looking and strong-sounding Whitney Houston made a triumphant return to the stage at a pre-Grammy party honoring her mentor, music mogul Clive Davis. “I’ve got it, I’ve got it!” Houston, looking glamorous in a skintight leopard dress, sang early Sunday morning as she belted a line from one of her classic hits, “I’m Every Woman.” But more than a lyric, it summarized to the crowd of A-list superstars and top industry execs that the superstar — whose drug use and erratic behavior had caused a shocking fall from grace just a few years ago — was back in top form.
If there was a fear that her voice was gone, she dispelled it. And while she may not be singing the way she did at 25, the 45 year old is still among the very premiere song stylists in the world.
They must have heard something completely different inside the venue than what I just got from this YouTube clip. While she doesn’t sound like she just sniffed enough coke to make a snow man then washed it down with a pack of Newports and Olde English, I’m not sure if I’d give her the lead in the choir.
Some journalists were a bit more frank:
Though her voice was not the sterling instrument of her prime, she seemed vocally fit, if somewhat buried by the loud band, backup singers and exuberant audience that cheered her return.
…Houston revealed she’s back in sparring shape; when she opened her mouth, what came out was strong and controlled (though, admittedly, she was still trading more on the theatricality of our anticipation than the power of the golden pipes she used to possess). So psyched was the crowd that it hardly seemed to miss the big notes in edited arrangements of both “I Will Always Love You” and “I Believe In You and Me,” and the fact that Houston’s backup singers had to carry much of “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” did not dim the dance party.
OK, so it wasn’t just me. I liken the reaction to Whitney’s performance to be akin to that of Britney’s recent gigs: People have such low expectations at this point simply standing there and not falling down would illicit thunderous applause. I guess it’s a start. Just this morning I was listening to “Saving All My Love For You” and “You Give Good Love.” I miss that Whitney.
I must say, though, I did enjoy the way Nippy said, “Darkchild…Darkchild.” That performance was a little better. She still carries herself like someone’s crazy Aunt Cookie.
