Click Me, Freak Me (NSFW)

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I only cruise Craigslist for leads to potential editorial work, so I’ve been aloof to the fact that it’s been a major source of ass for people. A friend of mine once showed me some of the personal ads that run on the site. After reading them I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or spray my eyes with Lysol. There are superfreaks among us, and Craigslist is a great place for them to congregate should they not want to bother with setting up a MySpace profile.

The funniest thing about these ads are the type of people who place them. You’ll get anything from big, sexy woman, with great weave but bad feet in her 40s seeks hairy, skinny, babyfaced 25-year-old to clip her toe nails and bake her chicken after 98 seconds of hot sex. All types of weird can be found there, and I like holding my lunch so I try to stay as far away as possible.

Someone sent me one of those email me if ya nasty themed ads via a link to Wonkette this morning. So much for me completely ignoring them. There was no way I was going to not comment on this.

Warning: Nasty talk a-coming.

CPAC is where conservatives go to spoon each other and lash out at people they believe are destroying America. This includes liberals, pro-choice advocates, anti-imperialists, and heathens. Typically, you’ll also find a very deep seated hatred for “others” — Blacks (including from Black conservatives present), immigrants, Muslims, and most of all, gays.

That’s what makes this ad some comical since it further lends credence to the theory that many of these conservatives spearheading anti-gay rights legislation are individuals creeping in and out of the closet carrying KY jelly.

How much do you want to bet this masturbation enthusiast will either become a contributor to The Weekly Standard or one day become the GOP’s most annoying Senator? I’m sure he’s not lying when he says there are a lot of men attending CPAC searching for the same after hours playtime.

And though I’ve always suspected it, how sweet (and I guess, sticky for them) to have it confirmed that conservatives are the biggest consumers of pornography. My political persuasion is essentially left of left, yet as free spirited as I like to think I am, I can’t get into porno. Go figure the people who pontificate about morality are the ones buying up visual suck ups.

Reason #9,000,987 why I can’t take most social conservatives seriously. How much are you willing to wager that this young and horny gent en route to CPAC has a couple of closet case friends in Utah — the state who purchases the most porno in the nation?

You are what you hate, people.

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