Swagger Jacker of the Week: Ciara
Despite writing about how sick I’ve grown of the word “swagger,” I think as long as I forgo the option of saying it every other second like some people, this feature can remain as is.
The premise of Ciara’s “Sex Love Magic” video is basically look at the kitty kat diva in her freakum dress getting bodied trying to be Justin Timberlake’s suga mama.
While I’m sure her intentions were to get me to focus on how sexy she is and forget how mediocre her material has been thus far, all I can think about after watching this is how much of a wack ass she is. This video looks like a tribute to the Beyonce anthology, and while Beyonce is not an originator by any stretch at least when she jacks something she makes it her own — which is what you’re supposed to do when you bite.
Wait, that bears repeating before anyone tries to drill that point home in the comments section:
Beyonce may bite, Alicia may steal, and Rihanna may have bought all of Fefe Dobson’s clothes at a garage sale, but they’re all much better actresses than Ciara.
All of them have sold sex (yes, even Alicia, too), but it never reeked of desperation.
Her fusing Beyonce’s video treatments with Madonna’s old hoe shit bit doesn’t seem like a woman embracing her new found sexuality. I think she looks like a prostitute trying to score a hit before her pimp puts her back on the street. I find her pathetic in every sense of the word.
She’s like that girl in high school that tried too hard that everyone ends up laughing at. I don’t doubt for a second that if every other popular singer out there shot videos of them in winter coats on the beach she’d toss on a Northface and proceed to do pull-ups on some monkey bars just to sweat a little more than the other girls out.
The interesting thing about her is that she’s doing everything antithetical to what made her relevant to begin with. In an attempt to appeal to a pop audience, she’s alienating the people who pushed her to platinum status. I would know, because I bought her first album. Then she came out with that pretentious evolution-themed album (who experiences that great an evolution in two years?) and her music went to shit.
Maybe if she focused on her music as much as she did her ever changing image and sound she wouldn’t be reduced to doggystyle positions and rubbing her ass cheeks on Justin Timberlake for a cheap hit. I thought this chick was supposed to be a great dancer anyway. How do you put Justin Timberlake in a video and not have any extensive choreography? Wasn’t her being some supposed great dancer what separated her from the other singers reduced to dip it, pop it, twirk it stop it dance routines?
Some feel I’m being too hard on her. I think the problem is I know Ciara had way more successful when she was seeking to give folks blue balls instead of full fledged hard-ons.
Far too many people rely on sex to sell forgetting one important fact: Thanks to the internet we can see hoes all day for free. In the end, she can get attention for this, and she’ll even score a modest hit for letting Justin the Negro career killer do the track, but what’s next?
Will she throw Lil’ Wayne on the next single and flash her lips in the video? Her Fantasy Ride is going to resemble that US Airways flight that landed in water.
Meanwhile:
P.S.
miko
March 23, 2009 at 1:33 pm
great post! totally agree! she’s trying too damn hard! she’s trying to sell sex- but even dudes r tired of her wack ass! i showed my man the video and he was even bored and uninterested with her! hang it up cici!!!! PLEASE!
Beautiful
March 23, 2009 at 6:31 pm
what was she thinking? no really. wha? i have never been a fan of ciara, but this is definitely not the way for her to go.
Anonymous
March 24, 2009 at 7:15 am
Love this! Come on Mike, bring it back to the old days.
Britt
March 24, 2009 at 8:13 am
I am pretty indifferent about “Super C” but that song with Jeezy eventually grew on me and I can tolerate it.
DolceVita
March 24, 2009 at 8:23 am
It’s so disappointing. People who made her platinum like you said loved her for her dancing skills, not her stripper skills. I was looking at the video thinking WTF is she doing to herself? Where is the DANCING? And what’s so pathetic is that even Justin looks hella BORED like “do I really have to do this?”. It’s so embarrassing. I read some comments, some people where saying she did a great job and is original and a genius, I think her die hard fans are delusional. And to think that Beyonce and Rihanna have been called the H word for less than that. Plus, I find it funny that she wanna wear an afro right after the leak of the demo video for “EGO”, I don’t even follow Beyonce like that but I peeped that. If Ciara is a genius well then, all video chicks are geniuses. I’m pissed off, she ain’t seeing my money. The song doesn’t even sound like her and it’s NOT A HIT! I needed to vent!!
B.W.W.
March 24, 2009 at 11:36 am
they both suck. remember when singers could be sexy with clothes on and without bending over? miss you aaliyah.
Let's think about this
March 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm
think about it though: Beyonce’s “if i were a boy” came AFTER Ciara’s “if I was a boy”. maybe Ciara did it intentionally? to make a point?
C
March 24, 2009 at 7:17 pm
^^^^ You sound stupid. Not only is Ciara a nobody to try and come at someone IIWAB and Like A Boy are nothing alike.
Rob
March 25, 2009 at 4:47 am
I’m sorry… But I felt sorry for Ciara she was twerkign that couscous like she wanted to jump out and give me head for a dollar. Trying WAY TOO HARD- but you gotta agree whats “original” anymore its already been done before Kinda like how simpsons has TALKED ABOUT everything in life basically.
F.U.
March 25, 2009 at 8:21 am
Love this post, love your blog! Had to write a post on your post….http://yeahisaiditandwhat.blogspot.com/2009/03/super-c-is-biter-say-it-aint-so.html
It'sJustTheInternetSilly
March 25, 2009 at 5:41 pm
She really is trying too hard (though I’ll kick and scream if someone tries to tell me that “Promise” wasn’t a good song) and it’s sad. I enjoyed her back when she was dropping it like it was hot on the hood of a car with Luda and being a tease in someone’s older sister’s convertible. Now…it’s just whatever. Truly hit or miss and that’s sad because I truly believe she has talent.
Anonymous
March 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I think all these entertainers need to find the fountain of originality and take a long refreshing gulp. The title of the song is love, sex, and magic. Perhaps she’s just trying to evoke the spirit of a sex kitten. Besides, even if she did borrow a few elements from Beyonce. Beyonce has been known to borrow as well. Why is it creativity when she does it, and swagger jacking for anyone else?
That’s part of the reason I find this Beyonce character so annoying, is because musical favoritism has hit an all time high since her rise to fame. I remember a time when singers could peacefully co exist and it was okay to like both/all. Now, if anyone threatens her fame or place in the music world, they are swagger jackers or any number of commonly used colloquial adjectives.
I elect instead to let Cici do her thing, even it is not my cup of tea. Because for every person who doesn’t like it, there are like ten who love it.