As I sit here digesting the whole pizza I just ate (it was flatbread and it had spinach on it — that makes it healthy, right?), I am so grateful to Pharrell.
See there: Those who can fit a small are willing to act up for some food just like members of the medium, large, and no-size-fits-you populations.
If you recall, he was a part of my shout out to the slim man crew last year, but after watching this clip he deserves his own post. He has provided living proof that a slim waist doesn’t mean you never yearn for the taste of a McNugget. Now some people – bougie people who act like they can’t eat mystery meat like the rest of us – are looking at this and going, “Well he ended up not getting anything, so I bet his skinny ass starved.”
That’s not the point. The point is Pharrell was willing to dance, sing, and act like he popped an x pill half an hour prior to arriving at the cash register just to get some a Filet-o-Fish. That is dedication, people.
Pharrell handles hunger much better than me, though. I remember a few years ago I damn near cursed out a friend over a chocolate Frosty. My friend told me they were good and worth trying. They were not and at the time I spent my entire break trying to get one. I ended up tossing that nasty chocolate crap in a cup and went back to work still hungry. I would’ve done better eating from the street meat vendors trying to pass off rat marinated in expired BBQ sauce as terayaki chicken.
I should’ve handled my disappointment the way Pharrell did — by annoying cashiers with an awkward Michael Jackson inspired dance routine.