Stop The Top

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The homie, the lovely and talented Maiya over at Blind I, sent me an image over the weekend that I couldn’t go without posting about.

The lady who looks like a gentleman in the picture was in Mai’s hair salon getting a flat top. I understand that people have been trying to bring this hairstyle back for a while now. I even spotted a guy with a flat top at a club last fall.

He looked like a stretched out version of first grade.

Is this a hairstyle we really want to come back, folks? There were so many good things about 1990 that could all come back.

Will Smith could come back to TV. Julia Roberts could give us another good movie like Pretty Woman. Madonna could return to a face that didn’t need Adobe Photoshop so much. My sister used to bump Kool G. Rap. I’ll take that. Public Enemy’s Fear of a Black Planet, too.

Hell, I’ll even take back Hammertime.

For all of the good things that came out in the early 90s, there were plenty of bad fads. The fanny pack is a good example. Unfortunately, I spotted people rocking those things last year, too.

And now this. When will it end? The recession? We had one of those in the early 90s, too. And the early 80s, which is the fashion trend that’s still fighting to stick around. Are ya’ll not noticing a pattern here?

Dress like 1998 when America had some money.

Now I had a flat top in the 90s myself.


So I understand the appeal. I liked my lil’ flat top…back then. But you won’t find me with one now. Why? Because in hindsight no one should willingly walk around trying to look like an eraser.

I realize I’m entering that stage of my life where I can recognize previous trends that people barely alive think are brand new and thus want to try on themselves. Yet part about growing older besides the cheaper car insurance is that you get to forget some things.

I’d like to forget the flat top. But with my luck in three weeks I’ll see a bunch of dudes in skinny jeans with flat tops wearing fanny packs.

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