I’ll Show You Crazy

I caught a 2:00 p.m. showing of the movie on Friday and the theater was nearly packed. My immediate reaction was, “People actually want to see this?!” I came out of loyalty, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that so many people came out for it. Beyonce did non-stop press all week, I’ve seen ads for the film for months now, and well, what would you rather do on a weekend: Spend $10 to see Beyonce whoop some crazy broad or slap yourself silly with your stack of bills?

Obsessed is by far the best comedy released thus far this year. The fact that it’s actually supposed to be a thriller makes it even funnier. The opening credits were still rolling when I started texting people to say this film was going to be terrible. And it very much was, though I found it be pretty entertaining if only for a great laugh.

I’ll probably buy it on DVD, but only after it’s marked down. That shouldn’t take too long.

Congratulations to Beyonce for doing a film that didn’t require singing and still managing to boost her box office profile. The audience was 58% female, and while pollsters didn’t take this into consideration, I can guarantee that the bulk of that other 42% consisted of men who could probably do the “Single Ladies” routine better than Beyonce.

Even bigger congrats to the Knowles family for getting all of that product placement in. Though we didn’t get a shot of Agnes Dereon in any scene, I definitely spotted some House of Dereon in the movie. And it goes without saying how smooth of it was for Beyonce to sneak her music in.

For a second there, at the end of the movie I was waiting for Terrence J. and Rosci to introduce the premiere for the “Smash Into You” video.

Now since the studio didn’t screen the film in advance for critics, I knew there had to be a reason behind it. But now that the commentary has poured in it pretty much doesn’t matter anymore.

Still, there is one critic who I would like to call out for saying something stupid and irresponsible:

The movie’s most disturbing aspect, of which the filmmakers could not have been unaware, is the physical resemblance between Mr. Elba and Ms. Larter to O. J. and Nicole Brown Simpson. It lends “Obsessed” a distasteful taint of exploitation.

Forgive me white readers, I love ya’ll, but this is some out of touch white people shit right here. Not only is this reference dated, but if Idris Elba resembles O.J. Simpson, then Taye Diggs and I are identical twins. Ali Larter looks nothing like Nicole Brown Simpson either.

I really don’t get that comparison, and I want to know why that was allowed to be printed in the New York Times of all papers. Are times that hard over at the paper that they don’t bother editing out bullshit anymore?

In one quick swoop this writer has given yet another example of why not only do people pay less attention to critics, but why they don’t bother with newspapers altogether.

You’ve got to be out of your rabbit ass mind to think about O.J. and Nicole while watching Obsessed. I want him to turn off his computer and then bang his head into the monitor. Maybe when he wakes up from the bump he’ll start writing with same damn common sense.

A better way to conclude his film review would have been to ask why does Idris Elba sound like Tony Soprano throughout the movie?