Me on BET on CP Time
Forgive my lateness. To be honest, I planned on not doing commentary on the BET Awards this year.
I was actually at the venue working for the site, so I thought that would be enough. Then again, ya’ll me know and needless to say, whenever I write for corporate entities the muzzle is placed on. I need this space to release. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to bother releasing anything in this instance.
However, I’ve gotten IMs, emails, and Tweets like “Where’s MUH POST, NEGRO?!” so I guess it was to be expected of me to rant on it. That makes me feel all special and shit. Thanks ya’ll.
Alright, let me warn you now that I’m going to do my best to be as honest as possible. Yet at the same time, I honestly enjoy every little check that comes my way so this post and Google will not be infringing on that, ya dig?
Now let’s hop to my thoughts on the Jamie Foxx & Ne-Yo Honor Michael Jackson Kinda Awards.
1. New Edition Cannot Sing Worth A Damn Anymore
I think it’s great they took the time out of their oh so busy schedules to step in and pay homage to the Jackson 5, but Jesus be a throat lozenge for Ralph Tresvant. Why didn’t they let Ricky or Johnny sing lead? God knows Ralph and Bobby can’t do really hold it down the way they used to anymore.
And no disrespect to the Kang of R&B, because ya’ll know I love him but he sure is big now, isn’t he? I guess that coke diet is better than Master Cleanse. Homie looks like he ate his entire past before he stepped on stage.
2. You Don’t Need 50 Men Around You All The Time
Why is it so hard to get these rappers and athletes to walk solo? No one is going to shoot you en route to the podium.
3. That’s Elvis, Baby, Not Michael
Bless Keri Hilson’s heart. She is trying so hard to be great. She’s still not the best performer, but I would say this performance was a step up to previous ones I’ve seen. However, minus the pair of Michael Jackson’s old shoes and socks she bought from Papa Joe in the parking lot, her performance looked more like influenced by Jail House Rock than Mr. Beat It.
And what exactly was that the point of that impromptu acapella performance she delievered at the end? Why won’t some people leave well enough alone?
If you answer to prove she can really sing, you get an equal fail. Don’t do that anymore, Keri.
Sidenote: She’s gorgeous. Saw her on Friday while covering the rehearsals. She was shit’n on you hoes in sweats.
4. Two Points For You
Ne-Yo the Negro. I adore “Lady In My Life” and I think Ne-Yo did an excellent rendition of it. I’m not even a huge fan of him or his vocals, but he really did well last night and I’m more inclined to check out his material now.
5. Don’t Do That Anymore
Ciara. What person with questionable hearing keeps telling this chick it’s OK for her to sing in front of anyone besides her shower head?
6. Did Ya’ll Know
That Jamie Foxx is going on tour? If not, you must have not watched a second of this show because they mentioned it every other second.
P.S. Go see Jamie Foxx on tour. That way, if someone reads this and sucks their teeth at me, I can at least say I tried to hold it down.
7. I Am Nothing Without You
Where was Soulja Boy’s special friend, Arab? Soulja Boy isn’t a skilled enough performer to be on stage without his man. Pause. Kidding, have ya’ll seen those two together on YouTube? GO.
8. LeToya Luckett Is
…the cutest thing. I adore her. I need to meet her and take a picture. If you’re wondering, yes I want us to both throw up the Clarke in the shot. I love this girl’s personality. Someone give her a show. Now.
9. Mrs. Eh.
Beyonce sounded lovely, but I can’t say I would be mad if I never saw the performance again. It doesn’t help that I’ve seen it already from YouTube minus the hooker wedding dress she was wearing. Like I said, vocally she did well, but I don’t care for these sorts of songs from her. They’re devoid of any real emotion despite the attempts at passionate delivery. I believe she’s better at masking that quality when performing something uptempo or at least with a bit more oomph.
And don’t even ask me what the hell was that she was wearing. Consider it the only thing close to a wedding shot you’re gonna get from her.
10. I Want To See
Skank Robbers. Best part of the show to me. Don’t judge me.
11. God Goes Hard
When did Jesus hook up with Swizz Beats and why didn’t yall tell me about it? It’s been a minute since I’ve stepped inside of a church, but if they have anything close to what Mary Mary is singing, I’m done for a visit. I might even chip in the collection plate so they can get Auto-Tune.
Now, one of those Mary’s turned me off by comparing people like me to murderers, but I’ll just tell folks I went to see the other one. ”
12. Groove Me
The tribute was nice, but I wanted to see Guy perform “Groove Me.” I still dance to that song. Don’t believe me? Find me in the gym.
13. Keep It Short
They went a bit overboard with the mini-reenactment of Baby Boy. Michael Jackson is guns? The BET Video Music Awards?
Michael worked very hard to fight drug abuse in the 80s, folks.
14. Team Skinny
Monica gave it to ya’ll in her dominatrix get-up. I cannot wait for her to come back. I was listening to “So Gone” yesterday and if she comes back with the right material I am positive (not really, but one can hope) she can find at least some lane for herself.
And also saw her over the weekend. She is ridiculously gorgeous.
Oh yeah, Keyshia was cool, too, but despite it being her song Monica stole the show.
15. Eh-Z
Jay-Z’s material over the last couple of years is like hot for a millisecond, then you forget all about it and go back to the classics. Next topic.
16. Don Cornelius
I know he’s like 107 years old, but he was rambling about a bunch of nothing in a voice far weaker than his backhand would suggest.
17. So Nice To Know You’re Still Alive
Tevin looked like a homeless man they picked up off the street and gave a bath to, but at least he can still sing.
Speaking of people who can still sing, Johnny Gill is a beast. He, Jody, and Baby Kellz did a nice tribute. Better than the real ones. Don’t tell Eddie Levert that, though. Don’t want to be cursed out.
18. Somebody’s Getting Fired
You can bleep the word “butt,” but I come home and turn on my TV to hear shit. Nice.
19. And The Rest
Maxwell never disappoints on stage. Not everyone can say that.
So far, keep Drake on that list of those who can’t. Wheelchair Jimmy is dope on the mixtapes, but not necessarily on the stage. I’ve noticed this. Granted, in this instance he was bound to a stoop, but something so far seems amiss. We’ll see if he gets it soon, though.
As for Weezy and co. singing about smashing every girl in the world with his seed and underage friends on stage: I wish I could call every CPS officer in the world.
20. The End
Janet was touching. The closing performance was random. To be fair to Jamie and Ne-Yo, they did perform a combined 89 times that tonight.
Lastly, I’m well aware of the flack BET has received for its tribute to Michael Jackson. I get people’s concerns, but seriously, award shows take months to plan and then days before the show is to air the greatest entertainer of all time dies. It’s really hard to put together anything that would appease people in that short amount of time.
No, that’s not me sucking up. Shoot, I had slave seats so I have no reason to suck up. I’m just saying.
I don’t think the show was very good, but not solely because of the perceived lack of effort to properly honor my namesake. If they don’t get it right later this year, then I’ll understand everyone’s grips.
Well that’s it, someone drop a lil’ change in my PayPal. I didn’t nab a baller that night.
P.S. Jamie Foxx is going on tour.
P.S.S. Coming Soon: Jamie Foxx
Ratchet
June 30, 2009 at 11:21 am
The only part I really cared about was Beyoncé's performance… which went straight over the BET audience's (most of which think that music began with 106 and Park) heads…
Everything else was a complete flop on some level.
Taylor
June 30, 2009 at 11:59 am
"18. Somebody's Getting Fired
You can bleep the word "butt," but I come home and turn on my TV to hear shit. Nice."
oh-so-true.
I feel like towards the end they just gave up on TRYING to get the bleeps right and kind of just went tourette-style with it.
Kimberly
June 30, 2009 at 1:31 pm
TEAM SKINNY (ONE TO TALK)!!!!!
TNR
June 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I agree with everything you said.
@Ratchet…
Thats why she should not have sung that at the BET awards. Sad to say but it is so true.
Iman
June 30, 2009 at 6:14 pm
i thought beys performance was wack. guess it went over my head…
lmfao at homeless tevin. poor thing. he didnt sound horrible tho.
wtf was don cornelius doingggg???? i was done at that point.
oh, and i will give drake another chance bc i love him and hes adorable, but that performance was embarrasing.
MissTee
June 30, 2009 at 7:41 pm
DRAKE is DUMB ASS ANNOYING to me!
I peeped how Bey stayed CLEAR of Ving when she went up on stage to accept the award! LMAO!
I was DISAPPOINTED in Ving……WTF???
I've been away from home for about a week & was stressin' because there is no BET in the hotel I'm in….found some live streaming online…..missed a good cgunk of the show…came in on Keysh & Mo….which I LOVED! Everything eles had me questioning my maturity for JOCKIN' this GHETTO ass show!!!!!! I wouldna been so pressed if BET didn't act like they were REVAMPING the whole dayum show for MJ!
I felt bad for Janet even havin' to "appease" the masses by coming up on stage…..she really looked like she would have rather have been ANYWHERE but there!
degagirl
June 30, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Old Train aka Don Cornelius needed to sit down…
Bey was alright; I just can't take her reworking "Ave Maria" into a personal song, blah…
Once again Eddie Levert has proven yet again that he is the drunk uncle at the family reunion who doesn't know how to control his liquor.
To paraphrase Damon Wayans in "Bamboozled;" I don't want to see or hear anything Jamie Foxx related for the next week.
Once again, an excellent post, well worth the wait.
Misha5150ak
June 30, 2009 at 10:31 pm
IMO I think BET did a decent job throwing together a couple of songs and collabo's for Michael in 2 and half days. I really wanted to see a dance performance since he WAS one of if not the best dancers of all time. They better have a bigger and better tribute coming!!!
Couldn't stand Bey and her lazy ass, recycled performance. Is anyone else mad that she is singing a Catholic song while wearing lingerie?! SMDH
Ne-yo did a fantastic rendition of "Lady in My Life". One of my favorite MJ songs. Good job and gold star for him.
Jamie did a good job hosting and his performances were great. I died and came back to life at that damn Skank Robbers trailer.
The O'Jay tribute was one of the best performances of the night next to Maxwell. Tyrese was blowin!! Made me remember him singing on the back of the bus on that Coke commercial.
Egomaniac
July 1, 2009 at 1:02 pm
One of the MAry Mary called "People like you" murderers? You mean the gays? This is a serious question, I was not aware of that statement.
Michael
July 1, 2009 at 1:40 pm
One of the members (the one in particular escapes me, but I could look it up if need be) likened homosexuality to murder and other social ills.
Kelly
July 1, 2009 at 2:23 pm
So effin hilarious. I co-sign this entire rant/post.
funny rant
July 1, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Mary, Mary interview w/ Clay Clane:
Clay: I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but you have an extremely large gay following — how do you feel about homosexuality and having a massive gay following?
Erica: We are aware. Ummm… how do I feel about homosexuality? I feel how God feels about it, but I still love them. I don’t agree with the lifestyle, but I love them. They can come to the concert; I’m going to hug them just like I hug everybody else. They have issues and need someone to encourage them like everybody else — just like the murderer, just like the one full of pride, just like the prostitute — everybody needs God. What your struggle is may not be what my struggle is, but we all need Him. So, that's what our music is about giving and God, not to condone the lifestyle or to say, Oh it's okay, but not to bash — but just to give them God. I mean, I’m appreciative of all of our supporters and fans. Hopefully what their hearing in our music is my love for God.
Tina: You know, I think the fact that our music is very upbeat and works well in clubs — you know, I think that's something that makes more people gravitate to it. Like Erica said, we don’t necessarily agree with the lifestyle, but we don’t pride ourselves on bashing. Everyone has things in their life that they need to correct, everybody has struggles, everybody has things that, maybe I should’ve done it this way, maybe I should’ve made this choice, you know, or whatever. Even though that's the way we feel, we don’t bash, we don’t do that kind of thing and we embrace everybody who enjoys our music. Hopefully our music is impacting them in a way that if they see there's some things in their life that's not quite right and doesn’t align themselves with what the Bible says — hopefully our music impacts them in a way that makes them want to change it.
so yeah, ever since then i haven't been a big fan of them. and i wonder if queen latifah, who performed with them, knows how they feel about LGBT people?! anyway, it was still a great performance by them.
anyway, michael, your review of the show was spot on!!!
i look forward to this show every year despite the fact that it continually gets worse and worse but i don't know if i can really blame BET for this or the internet/youtube. it's not even the BET awards that suck now it's all of them, and i think it's because you nothing seems new anymore and the internet/youtube is partly to blame. these shows just don't excite me anymore.
i think that artist when planning on performing on awards shows really should come up with brand new productions (BEYONCE!!!) of their songs/performances that no-one has seen before or else people will continue to be bored and say the shows suck….and that's just my 4 cents on it.
Deeta
July 1, 2009 at 10:41 pm
totally agree with you on #10, wish we could hang out…lol
P.S. Be Good…
Anonymous
July 2, 2009 at 9:22 am
1. New Edition Cannot Sing Worth A Damn Anymore
They should've just given it to Ricky. Johnny didn't sound good either. Even Trey Songz was shittin on him during the O'Jays tribute.
10. I Want To See
So this IS a real movie! I'm excited. I couldn't tell if it was just for the awards or if was gonna be a real movie.
I've heard so many people take up for the show saying "they put it together in 3 days…" but even if you remove the MJ stuff, the show would've still sucked!!! It's the long pauses on stage, the not knowing which camera to look into, the random *bleeps* that cut out every word except the one that you're not supposed to hear, the host that's really not that funny and blames it on people not getting his humor, the overboard skits that seem more like contests to see who can sound the dumbest, etc. So again, even if the show weren't rearranged with all tributes (most of which were the highlights of the show) it still would've been terrible and embarassing.
TNR
July 4, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I don't understand how you think Mary Mary compared homosexuals to a murderer. She was only making a point that they embrace everyone who sins. She gave a whole list of sins that people commit and said that they embrace them all.
You are reaching at straws on that one.
Michael
July 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm
In sharing her thoughts about homosexuality, she mentioned killers and hoes in her analogy. Is she not putting homos in the same scope as them in her statement insofar as immoral behavior?
If I'm reaching, it's not by much.