If Ye Can’t Take It, Don’t Tweet It

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First, shout out to the penis pump and/or Arab who helped Soulja Boy grow five inches in like 36 hours.

Trust me I have no interest in the penis of an 11-year-old rapper, but since this minor is obviously begging for attention, we might as well give it to him before the next fame whore does something to one up him.

Maybe it’s me getting older, but I am starting to despise nearly every singer under the age of 21. Perhaps, this is just how it’s going to be from here on out but I find antics such as these no less irritating.


OK, so Omarion is older than 21 and I enjoy this picture (pause deez), but believe me, there are plenty of other natural shots to tide folks over. This wasn’t necessary, but they want their fun. That would be all well and good if the likes of Soulja Boy, Teyana Taylor, Bow Wow, and others wouldn’t take to the Web to whine about “haters” and the constant media scrutiny they seem to believe they’re under.

I love how the internet has made celebrities far more accessible than any other time in history, but it no doubts has its drawbacks.

One being that you realize that many of these celebrities are presented as something completely different from who they really are. This was always an understood point to people born with a clue, but even if you have that hint of cynicism in you that says don’t take everything for face value it’s still a bit odd to see people counter their public images so strongly one tweet at a time.

Case in point both Soulja Boy and Bow Wow, who make it a habit to rhyme about how great they are, how much money they have, how many dicks they slurp how many girls they get, then randomly throw out so woe is me rant about how awful their lives are. A part of me reads those messages and feels compassion for them. Then like an hour later each are back to tweeting their regularly scheduled bullshit.

However, I can understand why some like Teyana Taylor would feel compelled to respond to criticism about her. I didn’t know what the hell she did either, so it was nice for her to clarify. Yet it points to another problem I have with celebrities (or something) being so accessible: They’re far too sensitive. Even before the age of social media many celebrities couldn’t bear with anyone telling them anything that didn’t remind them of having their left butt cheek massaged with someone’s lips.

Now that anyone with a keyboard can get their e-thug on and say things to them they might not say in their face, it’s hard for them to deal.

Wait, hold on. On second thought, I forgot what era we live in. They’re plenty of jackasses who would purposely say something out of pocket to a celebrity if it increased the chances of them boosting their own profile. Still, you have to learn when to take in constructive criticism and when to ignore everything else.

It’s a lesson obviously not learned from many of these artists with false senses of entitlement. In life there’s no person that’s constantly praised over and over again. The game doesn’t change for the life of a celebrity…or those who pose as something closely similar to one.

You post up pictures of yourself with a hard on yet you say it’s the media up your ass. You clown people for not knowing your resume, but outside of your Twitter account and the blogs we never see you actually work. It’s not your fault people don’t pay attention to behind the scenes where the real work gets done, but it’s not that hard to grasp why folks might not know your purpose yet, no?

Oh and then you want us to feel sorry for you, but you usually harp on materialism and other nonsense to the point where most folks think you’re so vapid they don’t bother trying to muster up an ounce of “awws” for you because it’s hard to take you seriously.

A lot of this is just part of growing up, which is cool, but I’m tired of people who obviously don’t read enough toss out the word “hater” every other second because people get at them for the ridiculousness they themselves put out into the world.

There’s a good chance some of you all reading this are looking at me like the internet’s answer to Mr. Wilson, but I can’t help it. We need to throw some of these brats in time out already.

If you can’t it, don’t tweet it.

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