Before you even ask, no, this is not my child although I am sitting here gushing like a proud papa. The jig is mighty strong in this one. You cannot teach what this kid has inside. That sort of rhythm is innate. She’s getting it better than many adults.
But, after watching the toddler hit the booty dew my conscious had to go and mess it up for me. Isn’t it a bad sign to see a girl already dancing on the table three days after learning how to walk? If videos already have her dancing like that what’s going to happen after she watches them for 18 years? Stumbled along some commentators who argued the same thing.
You know: Have her parents taught her how to say her ABCs yet? 1-2-3 before D4L is my motto on child education. I get it. We have to think about our babies’ future! Or some shit like that.
Wait…am I being too serious? When I was at home with my oldest niece I had her throwing up our hood in pictures. Before you judge me, we were just fooling around. We were doing what most families do during the holiday season: Putting foil in our mouths and posing like we had grills in front of roach spray.
See? Happy Holidays! Yep, that’s me practicing for my future rap career. That fitted doesn’t belong to me. It’s my younger brother’s and if you’re wondering, yes, he put it on correctly for me. I don’t know why but I could never put on a hat correctly. Something about head just doesn’t agree with hats.
In any event, so we had our very innocent niece throw up our hood. The photo hasn’t turned up online — we know CPS doesn’t play. Oh, as I type this I just remembered we definitely filmed her (and us) doing one of those ign’t southern dances. I can’t remember which. They’re so many wonderful ones with the same exact moves that they all become a blur.
Yeah, I’m totally a bad influence.
Or am I?
The last time she called me it was to tell me she got straight As on her progress report. So she can throw it up, do her dance, and kill ’em on the honor roll. So, I can’t completely rule out that this child’s fate is doomed just because she can do the stanky legg before she finishes potty training. I can love Gucci Mane as much as I do Frank Rich. This little girl can grow to say the same thing herself one day.
Still judging? Don’t go over their house or mine. Try Cliff and Claire. They’ll probably let you come over.
Although technically, they’re doing the same damn thing at their house.
P.S. In my defense, I always tells my niece to read. I can’t stand anyone who writes or speak like English is their fourth language. I fool with Gucci Mane in the club, but I’d never font with him.