Watch Out, Bruce Wayne

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

Nicki Minaj intrigues me. Not necessarily because of any set skill, but as the only viable female emcee I can think of instantly you can’t help but wonder how she’ll fair if/when she actually drops an album.

She looks like she was created in a Mattel lab and speaks in an accent that sounds more inspired by the Queen of England than the Queens borough that bred her.

I can see why some people may not take a liking to her, but she’s not actually a bad rapper. She shows potential in “I Get Crazy,” a few other select tracks from her mixtape, and the remix to “5 Star Bitch” where she makes more of an impression than the baddest bitch herself.

It’s enough to want to give her a chance. That is, if you don’t happen to find her incredibly annoying. I get why some consider her something along the lines of Lil’ Wayne’s annoying little sister. I don’t get her language, the hip-hop Barbie angle she’s pushing, nor her speaking voice. Still, I want to like her. She’s all we have and at least she’s trying to be interesting. Everyone needs a gimmick anyway.

I’ve been wanting to write about her for a while now, but I was looking for something that will help sell her to both you and me.

This ain’t, though.

I had to watch this video a couple of times before I paid any attention to what she was actually talking about. I was too busy being distracted by the lower half of her body.

Pause. Or something.

What has she done to herself? I made a vague reference to rumors that she’s gotten butt injections last week, but damn ya’ll, why is she giving me Batman Returns villain body?

Does she not remind anyone else of The Penguin: The Thinner Years?

Why would you do that to yourself? She’s already gotten a reputation for having obese genitalia so why take it one step further with a botched butt? I’m going to hold out hope that her body will heal and that her debut single will set her career off. You would think a person who models themselves after hip-hop’s two biggest pinups would learn about the dangers of cosmetic operations (and being out of their minds).

P.S. Don’t ask me what a Waka Flocka is. I don’t even want to know.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone