The Devil Isn’t In The Roc

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Forgive me, but I’m always baffled by people who buy into these random conspiracy theories. Over the past month or so the day jobs have forced me to focus on the Illuminati, the Devil, and Ursula the Sea Witch in light of growing speculation that Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Beyonce are all a part of some Satantic cult that’s given them the keys to super-stardom.

And it seems all one has to do is watch a video like this and suddenly you start embracing the nonsensical paranoid person within. I looked at this video – well, listened to it (I multi-task) – and my only reaction was, “Someone spent 8 minutes putting this video together?!”

Then I asked myself, “Am I really going to spend 8 whole minutes watching this?”

No. I turned it off. My Firefox crashed soon after. Don’t fret, though. Trust me that browser crashes harder than most addicts.

This video made me think of my friend who told me about a girl who swears that Beyonce and Jay-Z are Satanists. Her proof? Someone wrote it in an email.

I could write Bow Wow got Omarion’s left butt cheek pregnant from a Yahoo account named “I lie like Kracee” and I guarantee some fool would start forwarding it to everyone in their address book like it’s the gospel.

Which points to some inconvenient truths: A lot of people are gullible and even more of them are stupid. It’s impolite to point out, but no less true.

There are people living in Oak Tree and Landfill, South Carolina who will swear on the lives of their child that Obama is a Muslim because somebody who drank too much Boone’s Farm said so while they were pumping gas during the campaign. And there are some out there who will try to convince you that they see 2 Pac every Sunday at the Magic Johnson theater off Crenshaw. You know, because even when you’re faking your own death you can’t turn down their matinee prices.

As for this video I saw someone write that this theory must be true because how else could Rihanna get a deal? Shade aside, if Rihanna sold her soul to Satan she got ripped off. See reports of first week sales of Rated R and last week’s round of performances of “Russian Roulette.”

I looked over the site The Industry Exposed, which pieced together this video. I noticed that they’re asking for Paypal donations from readers. Shocker. It pays to play on people’s fears.

If you do so happen to believe that Jay-Z slobbed Satan’s snob for superstar status, riddle me this: If it’s such a big secret and the group is so powerful why are people allowed to write about it? The devil doesn’t have a confidentiality clause? And shouldn’t the devil be trying to link up with more powerful people like Miley Cyrus?

I could go on but the more I type about this the more I feel like my brain might run from my head. In all seriousness, though, please tell me none of you all actually believe this stuff?

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